Lucy's Advice

I don’t have much time for a long discourse about the virtues, personalities, or trials of the women in the Bible this evening. However, I just can’t stop thinking about Sunday and some of the things that Donna shared with us, and I feel inspired to share them tonight. Always creative in her approach, she gave everyone a stocking containing a quote, a candy cane, and an edible treat. Towards the end of her lesson, she asked me to read my quote aloud, and I gladly complied. It’s one of my favorites, and I’m going to share and expound on it just a little.

“We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction, that we may all sit down in heaven together.” Lucy Mack Smith

Donna then looked around the room and asked us to tell what each of those phrases meant to us. Although I’ve read and heard that quote literally dozens of times, it still touches my heart. I wish women everywhere could feel a closeness within a sisterhood like Relief Society. I glanced around the room that day and knew for a fact that every single woman present tried in her own way to follow Lucy Smith’s advice. As various class members began describing what the phrases meant to them, I was even more grateful to be part of such a worldwide sisterhood.

Cherish one another. We hold one another in high esteem, knowing that regardless of our life circumstances, propensities, or little quirks, we’re all daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us. Here’s an example. A couple of years ago, I went to the library one Sunday afternoon, and I saw Shawna, one of my Relief Society sisters, and one of her daughters. We chatted a few moments and parted company but not before sharing a spontaneous hug. I think it was the first time I’ve ever hugged anyone in a library before!

Watch over one another. If someone is absent, we are prompted to give her a call or send her a card. The visiting teaching program is a divinely inspired program that's designed so that every single sister will have some sort of contact each month. Whether it’s a phone call, a visit, or a card, the contact is supposed to happen on a monthly basis. We’re not perfect, so sometimes life and general busyness get in the way of our contacts. Still, we’re working on it. Me included.

Comfort one another. Comforting involves more than watching from afar. To comfort, one needs to move in a little closer. It involves putting your arms around someone and encircling her with love and care and casseroles.

Gain instruction. Instruction can come in the form of classes such as the one Donna taught Sunday, or it can be by example. In addition to learning gospel principles, I’ve learned about cake decorating, freezing vegetables, knitting, smocking, make up application, jewelry making, journaling, and hair braiding. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

That we may all sit down in heaven together. It’s going to be great!

These women are modern day Eves. Like Naomi, some have lost their husbands and/or children, and like Hannah, some are praying for a child. Like Rachel, some are beautiful and much loved by their husbands while others, like Leah, struggle to win the affection of their partners. I looked around the room Sunday and spied a couple of Dorcases who always (and I mean always) go about doing kind deeds for others. Like Hagar, some have been mistreated, and there are at least a couple who, like Lot’s wife, struggle with leaving the past behind. As I write this tonight, it occurs to me that every single woman who was present on Sunday has a good portion of Esther’s courage.

Regardless of age, bank balance, race, ethnicity, education, marital status, talents, or any other variable, we all see the need to cherish, watch over, and comfort one another. I wonder how Kitty is adjusting to her new ward. Maybe I'll give her a call tomorrow. And if I have time, maybe I'll bake some cookies for Stacy's children. There's a sympathy card I need to send too...or maybe I'll visit instead.

Thanks Michelle

As always (yes always), I came home from church feeling edified, inspired, and uplifted. Not only did I get to spend some time with like-minded (like-spirited) people, I also got to sing, listen, and learn. Anyone who could’ve sat through today’s Sacrament meeting and be unmoved has a heart of stone.

I’m looking forward to studying the Old Testament in Sunday school this year. When I was a child, I was captivated by the stories. How did Daniel make it in the lion’s den? Why didn’t Isaac try to get away from his father when Abraham needed a sacrifice? Wasn’t it obvious to him what might happen? How can I get the faith of Hannah? And talk about women—wow, that Esther was awesome! This year we’ll revisit some of these stories, and I know I’ll gain insight into their meaning and application to today’s world.

In Relief Society, Michelle talked about what we could be working towards as a ward this year. Beginning by saying that she’s not that crazy about resolutions, she quoted someone who said if you’re doing something wrong, why wait until January 1st to correct it? Do it now. If there’s something you need to work on, do it now too.

After a few more introductory remarks, Michelle said they (the RS Presidency in our ward) had decided that 2010 was going to be a year of service. “Let’s take the focus off of ourselves and onto others,” she suggested. After listening to several scriptures and numerous stories of service that had occurred right in our ward, I think we all felt more resolved to be a little kinder, to look out for each other, and to offer whatever type of service we could. Some people are into making casseroles while others might find arranging flowers or cleaning houses more to their liking.

How often have you intended to help someone but procrastinated, hoping someone else would take care of it? What if the Lord needs something done and He wants you to do it…but you don’t? What if you’re the person who’s the designated miracle worker, but you’re too busy watching Dancing with the Stars or shopping to make a phone call or write a quick note? Do you get caught up in the “thick of thin things?” I do.

I was pretty good about doing charitable acts during December, but just like many others, I have to work hard to overcome what I’ve heard referred to as the “seasonal belch of philanthropy.” I’m not into resolutions either so I’m not exactly “resolving” to give more service. However, I am going to try to keep that Christmas spirit of love and giving in my heart and actions all year long.

Thanks Michelle. Great lesson.

Turning Them Over

I’m thinking of my old friend June today. Whenever I’d share some concern that I had about one of my children, she’d often chide me and ask, “Jayne, have you turned your children over to God?” I’d try to convince her that yes, of course I had, but she wasn’t buying it. It was almost as if I’d turned them over but somehow continued thinking that He needed my interference.

I’m not sure how I feel about this issue. I do think that God sends each mother the children she’s meant to raise, if only for a season. In the process, He trusts us to do the best we can to love, nurture, and guide them. It’s an awesome responsibility, and although it was one that I gladly accepted, I still don’t know how much and how long to stay involved. When should a mother back off and “let go and let God?”

If only things were as clear-cut as they were with Hannah. Remember her? She’s the woman who wanted a child so badly that as she fervently prayed for one, Eli saw her and mistakenly thought she was drunk. She assured him that she was completely sober and was praying that God would send her a male child. If that happened, she would willingly turn the child over to God. Eli told her to go in peace and promised Hannah that her petition would be answered. Soon thereafter, Samuel was born, and when he was still a young child, Hannah brought him to Eli and left him there.

I don’t know if she saw Samuel much after leaving him in the temple with Eli. I only know that I’m not quite as trusting, giving, or selfless as Hannah was. I think God entrusted my children to me and that He intends for me to take that trust seriously. At the same time, I’m wondering if this story of Hannah and Samuel has a latent meaning for me, for us. What do you think?

Hannah's Faith

My daughter’s son Braden started to kindergarten last week, and she was lamenting the fact that he had grown from a tiny babe into a little boy so quickly. “I just want him to be happy,” she said. She doesn’t want him to be afraid or to have other kids tease him. Join the crowd of mothers everywhere, Carrie! We all want our children to be happy, healthy, brave, confident, and secure, and we worry about the moments when we can’t be there to protect them.

Will this concern end when he enters high school or college? No. My sister-in-law Becky, the mother of two handsome, strong, smart young men (my macho nephews) recently confessed that she misses them immensely even though they’re seniors in college. They attend college six hours away, and it’s torture for their mom not to be able to see their faces and hear their voices on a daily basis.

What about when he (Braden or any other child) marries and begins life with a spouse? Will the worry and concern end then? Nope, not then either. I speak from experience in that my son recently married and now lives four hours away. Since he’s married, I’m more hesitant about calling at any old time. Although he’s my son, he’s her husband, and I want them to strengthen their partnership, something more possible without a meddlesome mother-in-law. I wonder, just like Carrie and Becky, whether he’s sad, happy, scared, anxious, hungry, bewildered, or confused.

Does this feeling ever end? I think not. At times such as these, I think of one of my friends who’d often listen to my worries about my children and then demand, “Have you turned your children over to God yet??? They’re not yours anyway, you know. They’re His, and you just have to trust that everything will be fine.”

My friend’s reminder always brings Hannah to mind. Day after day, she went to the temple and prayed for a son. Eli, after inquiring about what he perceived to be her drunken state, learned of Hannah’s fervent desire for a child and of her promise to give him to the Lord “all the days of his life.” Eli then told her to go in peace and that God would grant her petition. We know the rest of the story. Hannah gave birth to Samuel, and after he was weaned, Hannah brought him to Eli to be raised in the tabernacle.

How did she give him up???? I don’t know the answer to that. I only know that I need to have a little more of Hannah’s faith and trust. After all, Braden, Chris, John, and Paul do not actually belong to us. They belong to God. We’re just the vehicles by which these remarkable people came to Earth.