Yesterday my daughter Elizabeth asked me about some of the similarities between her sister and her. This query was prompted by something I’d done, something that made her laugh and say, “Mom, you and Aunt Ann are so much alike sometimes that it’s not even funny." And then after a moment, she asked, "How are Carrie and I alike?”
“Well,” I said. “You both have dark hair and the same basic facial structure. And anyone who’s looking at the two of you would know have the same parents.”
Not content with my answer, she persisted, “But we’re so different in other ways.”
And she’s right. Elizabeth is as quiet and reserved as Carrie is extraverted and talkative. Their basic temperaments, what psychologists look at as the raw material from which the personality is fashioned, have been different from their first days in the world. At the same time, they’re both conscientious, hard working, and diligent. They can be counted on to do what needs to be done and to give it their best effort.
Our brief conversation reminded me of two sisters I’ve mentioned often, Leah and Rachel. Like my daughters, they had the same parents, and yet their looks and personalities differed greatly. Leah was not as attractive as her beautiful sister Rachel. At the same time, I see Leah as being steady, dependable, and non-complaining. Rachel appears more temperamental and perhaps even petulant. She wanted a child so much that she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die.” (Genesis 30:1). As we know, she later gives birth to Joseph and Benjamin.
Back to Leah, I’ve often found myself feeling sorry for her. She gave birth to six of Jacob’s sons and a daughter, and yet she appears to remain second in his affections. It’s not as though she asked to be married to him. The marriage was brainchild of her scheming father. Could she have refused her father’s instructions? Was she resentful? And later, was she heartbroken to remain in the beautiful Rachel’s shadow? Was she jealous of Rachel? I don’t know.
I’ve been thinking of some of Leah’s sterling qualities, and her conscientiousness tops the list. Costa and McCrae, developers of the five-factor model of personality, list this attribute as one of the Big Five. The traits are easy to remember if you can just remember one of my favorite words, OCEAN, as a mnemonic acronym: Openness, Conscientious, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.
Today and in Leah and Rachel’s era, there is plenty of evidence to indicate the value of conscientious, and to me this quality was one of Leah’s most salient traits. I have no doubt that she was dependable, industrious,and organized. Because of the time and place in which she lived, she was probably busy from dawn to dusk just taking care of business, business like making sure all the members of her household had what they needed to survive. If I’m out of bread, I jump in the car and go to Wal-Mart. I don’t think Leah ever let that happen, do you?
After rereading the Genesis account of the two sisters, I now feel both compassion and admiration for Leah. The compassion lingers because she still felt that Jacob loved Rachel more, and she knew that Rachel was more beautiful. At the same time, I can’t find a shred of evidence that she was spiteful, backbiting, or mean spirited towards Rachel or anyone else. What a gal! She was too busy doing what she needed to do to be overly concerned with the emotional undertones of the large household. She did what she had to do to take care of her seven children, and as Wife Number One, she undoubtedly had the responsibility and prestige that came with the title.
As a friend of mine recently reminded me, Jacob asked to buried next to Leah, not Rachel. And lest we forget, she gave birth to six of the twelve sons of Israel. She doesn’t need our sympathy; she deserves our applause. Go Leah!
Showing posts with label women of the Bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women of the Bible. Show all posts
Monday, October 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Bake the Cake
Carol once jokingly asked me if my nickname had been Pollyanna as a child. No, it wasn’t. In fact, my optimistic attitude probably didn’t fully evolve until I reached midlife. It was about the time that I became familiar with psychologist Martin Seligman’s work on the importance of optimism in affecting health and longevity and a host of other things in-between.
Wait. Doesn’t the Bible say the same thing? Aren’t we admonished to be of good cheer and to have faith? Aren’t we told that all things work together for those who love the Lord? I’ve never interpreted that to mean that a person is promised wealth, fame, and health but simply that things will work out. Gordon B. Hinckley, former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints often quipped, “Things will work out,” and while that’s not especially deep, I grabbed hold of that phrase and didn’t let go. Like a mantra, I’d say, “This will work out. Everything will work out. Things will be fine. Just keep doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and have faith.” And naturally, I’d repeat the phrase to my children too. “Don’t worry, Bud,” I’d say. “Things will work out.”
While the scriptures are replete with stories of women who persevered and had faith, the one I’m thinking of today is the widow of Zarephath. Remember her? Her story is found in the 17th chapter of 1 Kings. In summary, God instructs Elijah the Tishbite to go to Zarephath and tells him that He’s instructed a widow living there to sustain him. When Elijah sees her gathering sticks, he asks her for water, and while she’s on her way to “fetch it,” Elijah goes a step farther and asks her for a morsel of bread.
Here’s where the story really gets interesting. There’s a famine in the land, and people all around are going hungry. The widow has “handful of meal in barrel, and a little oil in a cruse” and is planning to go home and cook the last meal for her son “that we may eat it, and die” Elijah tells the widow to “fear not” and to make him a little cake first. He promises her that if she does what he asks, then she’ll have sufficient meal and oil as long as the famine lasts. She follows his instructions, and the three of them have food while all around them people are going hungry.
Time goes on, and at some point the widow’s son becomes sick, so sick that he actually dies. His grieving mother goes to Elijah and expresses her dismay and downright anger at this turn of events. Elijah prays for the son’s revival and then stretches out upon him three times, still praying that the child’s soul will come into him again. The son revives, and his grateful mother declares that she knows Elijah is a man of God.
I don’t personally know any children and their mothers who are on the brink of starvation, but I do know dozens of single mothers who aren’t able to provide the most nutritional food for their children. Cola drinks are less expensive than orange juice. Potatoes cost less than broccoli. Nor can they provide brand name clothes and shoes like some of the “richer” kids wear. It seems crazy to say, “Hey, think positive. Things will work out.” But then, is it better say, “You’re trapped in misery, Girl!”?
I work with young women whose home situations are so dire that it makes my heart hurt. In class one day, I remarked that my former mother-in-law used to tell me that what I didn’t spend at the grocery store I’d end up spending at the doctor’s office. After hearing this, one young student wrote me and said that not only did her family not have enough money to buy the “good stuff” to eat; they couldn’t afford to go to the doctor’s office either. “People in my family just die,” she said.
I don’t have all the answers to life’s conundrums. To my students, I say, “Stay in school. Education’s the ticket to a better life.” I also tell them that their lives aren’t always going to be the way they are right now. Things change, hopefully for the better. At the same time, an individual has to make the effort to improve situations. And have faith. Yep, that’s important. Without faith, why or how would a person find the motivation to even try?
Like the widow of Zarephath, bake the cake and have faith. Things will work out. It might not be this week, and it might not be the way you'd hoped, but they will work out.
Wait. Doesn’t the Bible say the same thing? Aren’t we admonished to be of good cheer and to have faith? Aren’t we told that all things work together for those who love the Lord? I’ve never interpreted that to mean that a person is promised wealth, fame, and health but simply that things will work out. Gordon B. Hinckley, former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints often quipped, “Things will work out,” and while that’s not especially deep, I grabbed hold of that phrase and didn’t let go. Like a mantra, I’d say, “This will work out. Everything will work out. Things will be fine. Just keep doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and have faith.” And naturally, I’d repeat the phrase to my children too. “Don’t worry, Bud,” I’d say. “Things will work out.”
While the scriptures are replete with stories of women who persevered and had faith, the one I’m thinking of today is the widow of Zarephath. Remember her? Her story is found in the 17th chapter of 1 Kings. In summary, God instructs Elijah the Tishbite to go to Zarephath and tells him that He’s instructed a widow living there to sustain him. When Elijah sees her gathering sticks, he asks her for water, and while she’s on her way to “fetch it,” Elijah goes a step farther and asks her for a morsel of bread.
Here’s where the story really gets interesting. There’s a famine in the land, and people all around are going hungry. The widow has “handful of meal in barrel, and a little oil in a cruse” and is planning to go home and cook the last meal for her son “that we may eat it, and die” Elijah tells the widow to “fear not” and to make him a little cake first. He promises her that if she does what he asks, then she’ll have sufficient meal and oil as long as the famine lasts. She follows his instructions, and the three of them have food while all around them people are going hungry.
Time goes on, and at some point the widow’s son becomes sick, so sick that he actually dies. His grieving mother goes to Elijah and expresses her dismay and downright anger at this turn of events. Elijah prays for the son’s revival and then stretches out upon him three times, still praying that the child’s soul will come into him again. The son revives, and his grateful mother declares that she knows Elijah is a man of God.
I don’t personally know any children and their mothers who are on the brink of starvation, but I do know dozens of single mothers who aren’t able to provide the most nutritional food for their children. Cola drinks are less expensive than orange juice. Potatoes cost less than broccoli. Nor can they provide brand name clothes and shoes like some of the “richer” kids wear. It seems crazy to say, “Hey, think positive. Things will work out.” But then, is it better say, “You’re trapped in misery, Girl!”?
I work with young women whose home situations are so dire that it makes my heart hurt. In class one day, I remarked that my former mother-in-law used to tell me that what I didn’t spend at the grocery store I’d end up spending at the doctor’s office. After hearing this, one young student wrote me and said that not only did her family not have enough money to buy the “good stuff” to eat; they couldn’t afford to go to the doctor’s office either. “People in my family just die,” she said.
I don’t have all the answers to life’s conundrums. To my students, I say, “Stay in school. Education’s the ticket to a better life.” I also tell them that their lives aren’t always going to be the way they are right now. Things change, hopefully for the better. At the same time, an individual has to make the effort to improve situations. And have faith. Yep, that’s important. Without faith, why or how would a person find the motivation to even try?
Like the widow of Zarephath, bake the cake and have faith. Things will work out. It might not be this week, and it might not be the way you'd hoped, but they will work out.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Waiting and Watching
I had things to do! There were unwashed dishes in the sink, clothes to iron, and classes to prepare for! When in the world was he ever going to come out?! Dressed in the sweat pants I’d earlier jogged in, I didn’t feel comfortable going inside to get him, especially since I’d exchanged my Nikes for some fluffy bedroom shoes. I decided to call my mother and whine a little bit. Surely she’d commiserate with my plight. Wrong! A wise woman, she listened to my complaint and simply said, “He’s worth waiting for.” I felt as though I’d been slapped and hugged at the same time! She was absolutely right. He was well worth waiting for, and he was inside of a church building for crying out loud (a phrase she might have added).
Part of what mothers are supposed to do is watch and wait. And yet what I did is minimal when compared to the vigil of a woman I just learned about this week. Her name was Rizpah, and you can read all about her in II Samuel 21:2-14. Although she’s not a major player like some of the other Old Testament mothers, her story is certainly one worth telling.
A concubine of Saul, Rizpah had two sons named Armoni and Mephibosheth. At some point before his death, Saul had ordered the slaying of some Gibeonites, and now these people were demanding retribution. King David was anxious to appease them because he felt it would end a three-year famine. Unfortunately, the Gibeonites didn’t want money; they wanted blood, the blood of seven of Saul’s descendents. Two of these young men were the sons of Rizpah, and the other five were sons of Michal, Saul’s daughter.
David handed these seven over to the Gibeonites to be slain as human sacrifices. After the slaying, their bodies were not buried as was the custom of the day, but were left to the elements. Rizpah knew she had to take a stand not only to protect their bodies from birds and beasts but also to influence David to bury them. Bold and faithful, she basically took sackcloth, spread it on a rock, and sat there keeping watch from the beginning of barley season until nearly six months later, from April to October. Eventually, King David heard of her tenacious loyalty and buried what was left of the seven bodies. Only then did Rizpah leave the rock.
Compare Rizpah’s wait to mine. She sat on a rock and braved the elements in all sorts of weather for SIX MONTHS. What did she eat? Did friends come and visit her and offer social support? Did she bathe, change her clothes, sleep? I waited 20 minutes in the comfort of my car while I watched my very alive son enjoy his friends inside of a warm building. Rizpah’s sons were dead. I called my mother; Rizpah didn’t call anyone. The very thought of her using a cell phone is weird. As far as we know, she was totally alone.
I’m not sure what we’re supposed to get from the story, but I know it’s in the scriptures for a reason. I’m thinking that although it isn’t always easy, mothers have to take a stand. We have to watch and wait and shoo away all the vultures that might attack our children, and we need to do it by night and by day.
Rizpah loved her children with a fierce love, and her behavior showed valor and loyalty. She was a person of no power, a concubine, and yet her actions moved a king to do the right thing and bury the remains of the bodies. Not coincidentally, after the burial, the rains came.
What are some applications of this story to your life today?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Solomon's Women
This post, however, isn’t about one of the major players. It’s about “nobodies,” the 1,000 women who were King Solomon’s wives or concubines. As I go about my daily life, I often stop and think about how much freedom I have…how much “everything” I have.
• I can pretty much come and go whenever I want to. Could these women leave the palace grounds, or were their lives restricted to the royal residence?
• I have my own home that I can decorate any way that I choose, even if it means having canary yellow walls and cobalt blue leather furniture. Did these women even have their own rooms?
• I have three wonderful children and six grandchildren. Did these women have children? Were they allowed to raise them, or was it sort of a communal project?
• When the wives and concubines became older, were they “dismissed” and never summoned into the king’s presence? Did Solomon provide a pension of sorts for his older wives?
• I have a career that continues to bring a lot of satisfaction, fulfillment, and even fun into my life. Although teaching gets stressful and taxing at times, the positives far outnumber the negatives. What did these 1,000 women do all day every day??? Could they even read?
I’m thankful that I was born in America, the best nation on Earth, during the latter part of the 19th century after so many courageous women had paved the way for me to have an easier, more fulfilling life. Had I been born even 100 years earlier, I think I might have stomped around angry and frustrated and powerless. Had I been one of Solomon’s chosen women, I think I would have shriveled up and died.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Eating the Fruit
I recently discovered that God told Adam and Adam told Eve. It’s not that big of a deal, or is it? As people living at this time in the world’s history, we know a little more about Adam, and we perceive him as an honest person. However, Eve knew nothing about him other than that he was the only other person roaming through Eden who looked sort of like her. He wasn’t a pelican or fox or orangutan, but a human being. So how did she know she could trust him? And how did she know the serpent represented evil? Eve lacked the experience and knowledge that we now have.
Today we know right from wrong through reading the scriptures, from listening to spiritual leaders, and from hearing the whisperings of the still small voice. She might have had certain advantages that we don’t (she got to live in Eden for a while), but we have access to knowledge accumulated through centuries and from all nations. We can learn vicariously from the mistakes and foibles of others, but Eve had no one to observe other than Adam.
While living on Earth today has its complications and hardships, it also has some advantages. One of those advantages is having access to so much knowledge, information, and spiritual guidance. We don’t have to take our husband’s word for something…or our wife’s, mother’s, father’s, or teacher’s. We can go straight to the scriptures and then pray about our concerns and questions. We can receive personal revelation for ourselves. I wonder if Eve even considered that.
I’m not making excuses for Mother Eve. I’m just saying that I was wrong about God actually telling her about the fruit and that today we have access to much more information than she did. Does that mean we make fewer mistakes? Does it mean that we stay away from temptation?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Better Together
A couple of Saturdays ago, I was strolling down the beach and saw a flurry of activity ahead. There were three or four men wearing suits, and as I got closer, I spied two men in military uniforms. Other people joined the crowd, all dressed in their Sunday best. And there she was: a beautiful barefoot bride making her way down the dunes toward the wedding party. I couldn’t resist watching for a few minutes, so I stood off to the side with some other gawkers.
After a few minutes, I continued my walk down the strand, and when I returned about 30 minutes later, there were only three people there, the newlyweds and the person who married them. I couldn’t help but think that sooner or later, it all comes down to just two people. Others are there to support and encourage the couple, but ultimately they’re on their own. Yes, I know that God is the third partner in a marriage (or should be), but that’s a post for another day. Today my focus is on the two who say, “I do.”
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the Adam and Eve story. Not only were they the first married couple and first parents, but as far as we know, they stayed together despite a rocky start. I recently re-read their story for a lesson I was to teach, and today I’m pondering some of the insights I gained from studying the account in Genesis. It hit me for the first time that although Eve did what she was told not to do, Adam stuck by her side. Maybe it was because she was the only other human around, but I think it was more than that.
This is my take on it. After Eve had partaken of the fruit, she told Adam what she had done. She “fessed up” rather than try to hide it. Yes, perhaps she should have consulted with him beforehand, but I’m thinking of how appealing and delicious Satan made the fruit look to her. Eve might well have asked herself why something so beautiful should be forbidden. Like I’ve often heard other women (and men) reason, she might have decided it was easier to get forgiveness than permission. Whatever her motives, Eve succumbed to the serpent’s temptation. Is there a woman alive who hasn’t???
Here’s the part I like. When Eve told Adam what she had done, he didn’t berate her, scold her, criticize her, or give her a lecture on morality and honesty. Nope. He took a bite too. They were partners who were working on their “oneness,” and he seemed to recognize that. They then became aware of their nakedness, and both attempted to cover it. Together, they tried to hide from God. He, of course, knew of their transgression and of their location. It’s worth noting that they are together when He discovers them; they were united. It’s true that Adam sort of tried to pass the buck and blame his disobedience on Eve, but still….
Together, they’re expelled from Eden, and together they begin their mortal life, one of toil and trouble and sorrow. I’m not saying they don’t share laughter and some fun times too. (I sure hope they do). I’m just saying that Adam stuck by her and that together they left the garden. I see a lesson for us in there. Do you?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sexual Harassment?
Somewhere on this blog, there’s probably already a post about Bathsheba. Remember her? She’s the one whom King David took a liking to and ordered to come to his palace. She, being one of his subjects, did as she was told. According to the scriptures, the king had seen her bathing on the rooftop one night and felt a powerful attraction. Conveniently, her husband was away at war, and for some reason, David had opted not to accompany his men on this venture. Home in Jerusalem, perhaps he was having a bout of insomnia. Who knows?
What we do know is that Bathsheba did as she was bidden. He was the boss, right? As the story goes, they later paid a big price for their indiscretion since Uriah was sent to the battle front to be killed. Then too, David and Bathsheba’s first child died. What I pick up from the scriptures about David’s feelings about the whole situation is that he was filled with remorse and sorrow for what he had done. Not only had he committed adultery with another woman’s wife, but he had also had her husband killed.
There’s also the fact that Bathsheba had little or no choice in the matter. She could have declined his invitation, but at what price? I think she probably considered her alternatives and did as she was told. Maybe she thought pleasing David would help Uriah in his military career.
This afternoon it occurred to me that Bathsheba was caught in a situation not unlike that of women everywhere who experience sexual harassment from those in power. Although we have laws protecting women from unwanted advances and hostile environments, it no doubt continues in many workplaces. Men may rationalize and feel that they’re entitled to certain privileges. They may even protest to those who advise against such behavior and say that there’s “really nothing to it.” “It’s innocent,” they might insist.
As my sweet mama used to say, “If you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.” Yes, I’m on my soapbox this evening. It is NEVER right to take advantage of a woman over whom you have power. Being a “boss” doesn’t mean you have to right to boss someone around. It means you need to “man up” and be a leader, a person who can influence another for good, not someone who’s going to lead both parties down a twisted path. This is especially true if the man in question is married. In fact, if either party is married, walk away from the fire.
Enough said.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Jochabed & Missionary Moms
The Camden Ward now has at least three young men serving missions, two of whom are still in the MTC (Missionary Training Center). I KNOW how their mothers feel, for I too have felt that hole in my heart. It’s especially huge and gaping right after the missionary’s departure, but truly, it does heal somewhat as the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months. There are the weekly emails, the encouraging words from friends and family, and the knowledge that your child is willing to sacrifice two years of his young life to “go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”
Thinking of these three young men (Zachary, Campbell, and Tony) and their mothers reminded me of several things I wrote while my son Paul was serving his mission in Mexico. With these M.O.M.s (Mothers in Missionaries) in mind, I’ve decided to copy and paste this excerpt from my book.
Exodus 2: 3-5
“And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink. And his sister stood afar off to wit what would be done with him.”
Imagine Jochabed’s anxiety as she placed her infant son in a basket and placed him in the Nile. Knowing that her son Moses was meant to be murdered left her no recourse but to trust in God’s protection and care, and yet she couldn’t (or didn’t) watch as he drifted away among crocodiles with his sister Miriam watching. How hard it must have been to leave her son adrift in the river! God kept Moses safe in his basket until he was discovered and adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter, an act that would allow him to receive an education and upbringing that would make him more effective as a prophet and leader of a nation.
While mothers aren’t customarily required to send their sons away down the Nile to save their lives, at some time children drift down the rivers of life to live among crocodiles, sharks, and other dangerous creatures. As I pondered this scripture, I remembered Brother Reynolds’ words in a Sacrament meeting as he told of his prayer when his son left on his mission: “God, I’m giving you the best thing I have: my son. Please comfort him, lead him, protect him, and bring him back home safely to us.” Not only will our Heavenly Father protect our missionaries, but He will also allow them to get the sort of education that will prove invaluable in their future lives. The virtues of faith, responsibility, and service will forever be a part of their character.
Thinking of these three young men (Zachary, Campbell, and Tony) and their mothers reminded me of several things I wrote while my son Paul was serving his mission in Mexico. With these M.O.M.s (Mothers in Missionaries) in mind, I’ve decided to copy and paste this excerpt from my book.
Exodus 2: 3-5
“And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink. And his sister stood afar off to wit what would be done with him.”
Imagine Jochabed’s anxiety as she placed her infant son in a basket and placed him in the Nile. Knowing that her son Moses was meant to be murdered left her no recourse but to trust in God’s protection and care, and yet she couldn’t (or didn’t) watch as he drifted away among crocodiles with his sister Miriam watching. How hard it must have been to leave her son adrift in the river! God kept Moses safe in his basket until he was discovered and adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter, an act that would allow him to receive an education and upbringing that would make him more effective as a prophet and leader of a nation.
While mothers aren’t customarily required to send their sons away down the Nile to save their lives, at some time children drift down the rivers of life to live among crocodiles, sharks, and other dangerous creatures. As I pondered this scripture, I remembered Brother Reynolds’ words in a Sacrament meeting as he told of his prayer when his son left on his mission: “God, I’m giving you the best thing I have: my son. Please comfort him, lead him, protect him, and bring him back home safely to us.” Not only will our Heavenly Father protect our missionaries, but He will also allow them to get the sort of education that will prove invaluable in their future lives. The virtues of faith, responsibility, and service will forever be a part of their character.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Turning Them Over
I’m thinking of my old friend June today. Whenever I’d share some concern that I had about one of my children, she’d often chide me and ask, “Jayne, have you turned your children over to God?” I’d try to convince her that yes, of course I had, but she wasn’t buying it. It was almost as if I’d turned them over but somehow continued thinking that He needed my interference.
I’m not sure how I feel about this issue. I do think that God sends each mother the children she’s meant to raise, if only for a season. In the process, He trusts us to do the best we can to love, nurture, and guide them. It’s an awesome responsibility, and although it was one that I gladly accepted, I still don’t know how much and how long to stay involved. When should a mother back off and “let go and let God?”
If only things were as clear-cut as they were with Hannah. Remember her? She’s the woman who wanted a child so badly that as she fervently prayed for one, Eli saw her and mistakenly thought she was drunk. She assured him that she was completely sober and was praying that God would send her a male child. If that happened, she would willingly turn the child over to God. Eli told her to go in peace and promised Hannah that her petition would be answered. Soon thereafter, Samuel was born, and when he was still a young child, Hannah brought him to Eli and left him there.
I don’t know if she saw Samuel much after leaving him in the temple with Eli. I only know that I’m not quite as trusting, giving, or selfless as Hannah was. I think God entrusted my children to me and that He intends for me to take that trust seriously. At the same time, I’m wondering if this story of Hannah and Samuel has a latent meaning for me, for us. What do you think?
I’m not sure how I feel about this issue. I do think that God sends each mother the children she’s meant to raise, if only for a season. In the process, He trusts us to do the best we can to love, nurture, and guide them. It’s an awesome responsibility, and although it was one that I gladly accepted, I still don’t know how much and how long to stay involved. When should a mother back off and “let go and let God?”
If only things were as clear-cut as they were with Hannah. Remember her? She’s the woman who wanted a child so badly that as she fervently prayed for one, Eli saw her and mistakenly thought she was drunk. She assured him that she was completely sober and was praying that God would send her a male child. If that happened, she would willingly turn the child over to God. Eli told her to go in peace and promised Hannah that her petition would be answered. Soon thereafter, Samuel was born, and when he was still a young child, Hannah brought him to Eli and left him there.
I don’t know if she saw Samuel much after leaving him in the temple with Eli. I only know that I’m not quite as trusting, giving, or selfless as Hannah was. I think God entrusted my children to me and that He intends for me to take that trust seriously. At the same time, I’m wondering if this story of Hannah and Samuel has a latent meaning for me, for us. What do you think?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Life Turns on a Dime
Life can turn on a dime, or at least that’s what I’m always spouting off to my children. But really, don’t you think there’s a lot of truth to that? Based on a seemingly little decision, a person’s whole life can change, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. What I’m thinking about this morning are three of King David’s wives: Michal, Abigail, and Bathsheba.
Caught between her father’s villainy and her husband’s safety, Michal chose in favor of the latter. Rather than turn David over to Saul who would surely have him killed, Michal helped him escape through a window into darkness and the relative safety of the night. As a consequence, her father was furious when he discovered the ruse, and if that wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t see her husband for years. When Michal and David met again, their circumstances were greatly changed, and for this morning, I’ll just note that she had slipped greatly in his affection.
Married to a brutish (my interpretation), Abigail made a decision that changed her life forever. While David and about 600 men were living in the wilderness of Paran, he sent ten men to Nabal, Abigail’s husband, to ask for food. He refused. When Abigail learned of this, she didn’t think twice about packing grain, bread, sheep, raisins, figs and sending them to the future king and his men. She followed behind and personally begged for forgiveness for Nabal’s foolishness. What a diplomat! Nabal died shortly thereafter, and it wasn’t long before David sent for Abigail who, again without hesitation, went to David and became his wife.
Bathing on a rooftop as was the custom at the time, Bathsheba was spied by David and summoned to his presence. While the other two above-mentioned women probably made more of a conscious choice, she undoubtedly went to King David because of the royal writ. Her husband was away at battle, and perhaps she imagined that the king had some information for her about Uriah. Once in David’s presence, we know what happened, and as a consequence, she became pregnant, her husband was sent to the front of the battle, and David married her. Their child died, but later she gave birth to Solomon.
My purpose wasn’t to give a Bible study lesson this morning…guess I got a little carried away. It’s just that it recently hit me that these women, just like us, made seemingly little decisions that affected the course of their lives. It makes me want to step back and think twice about my choices. What about you?
Caught between her father’s villainy and her husband’s safety, Michal chose in favor of the latter. Rather than turn David over to Saul who would surely have him killed, Michal helped him escape through a window into darkness and the relative safety of the night. As a consequence, her father was furious when he discovered the ruse, and if that wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t see her husband for years. When Michal and David met again, their circumstances were greatly changed, and for this morning, I’ll just note that she had slipped greatly in his affection.
Married to a brutish (my interpretation), Abigail made a decision that changed her life forever. While David and about 600 men were living in the wilderness of Paran, he sent ten men to Nabal, Abigail’s husband, to ask for food. He refused. When Abigail learned of this, she didn’t think twice about packing grain, bread, sheep, raisins, figs and sending them to the future king and his men. She followed behind and personally begged for forgiveness for Nabal’s foolishness. What a diplomat! Nabal died shortly thereafter, and it wasn’t long before David sent for Abigail who, again without hesitation, went to David and became his wife.
Bathing on a rooftop as was the custom at the time, Bathsheba was spied by David and summoned to his presence. While the other two above-mentioned women probably made more of a conscious choice, she undoubtedly went to King David because of the royal writ. Her husband was away at battle, and perhaps she imagined that the king had some information for her about Uriah. Once in David’s presence, we know what happened, and as a consequence, she became pregnant, her husband was sent to the front of the battle, and David married her. Their child died, but later she gave birth to Solomon.
My purpose wasn’t to give a Bible study lesson this morning…guess I got a little carried away. It’s just that it recently hit me that these women, just like us, made seemingly little decisions that affected the course of their lives. It makes me want to step back and think twice about my choices. What about you?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
For Connie
My friend Connie said that if I wrote one more Esther post, she’d comment on it. I’m hoping she was serious because someone needs to comment on this blog!
Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.
From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."
Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.
Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.
Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.
From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."
Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.
Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What's Her Name?
What’s her name? You know, the woman who was married to Job? The one who had ten children and lost them all when a wind came out of the wilderness and blew down the house in which they were eating and drinking? The one who lost everything at the same time that her well-known, “perfect and upright” husband did. The one who must’ve hurt deeply to have said, “Curse God, and die.” The one who watched as day after day her husband and his “friends” sat pondering the meaning of it all. Even his friends had names, but not her.
Job’s suffering continues and gets to the point that he says his soul is weary of life. Where is she? Even after being covered with boils and having his friends doubt his goodness, Job vows that, “till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.” Where is she? I know a woman’s place was much different at this time and place, but still this is a woman who has given birth to seven sons and three daughters who are now dead because of a bet (?) between God and Satan. This unnamed woman must have grieved mightily.
As we know, Job’s fortune is restored twofold, and his wife has ten more children. After giving birth to twenty children, she still goes unnamed. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does. Can anyone in Blogland offer any insight?
Job’s suffering continues and gets to the point that he says his soul is weary of life. Where is she? Even after being covered with boils and having his friends doubt his goodness, Job vows that, “till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.” Where is she? I know a woman’s place was much different at this time and place, but still this is a woman who has given birth to seven sons and three daughters who are now dead because of a bet (?) between God and Satan. This unnamed woman must have grieved mightily.
As we know, Job’s fortune is restored twofold, and his wife has ten more children. After giving birth to twenty children, she still goes unnamed. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does. Can anyone in Blogland offer any insight?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Your Destiny
I’m pretty psyched up about the Bible study of Esther that I’ve been attending. For the past week, I’ve been thinking about how Esther’s decision to go before the king changed not only her destiny but the destiny of her people. In verses 11-16 of the 4th chapter, a major transition takes place in a woman's life that changes her life and those of others. Although she was afraid, Esther considered the words of Mordecai and realized that indeed perhaps she had “come to the kingdom for such a time as this.”
I like to picture Esther as she walks out of the women’s area into the king’s presence. At some point, she must have turned a corner and realized, perhaps trembling, that there was no turning back. She’s dressed in her royal robe, her queenly attire, and when Ahasuerus sees her standing in the court, he addresses her as Queen Esther. Queen Esther, not just plain old Esther. She’s put thought into her appearance, and her attention to detail does not go unnoticed by the king. He seems pleased to see her, extends his scepter, and asks for her request.
Esther faced the fear. Have you? Will you? Just think about it. You could very well be one brave decision away from the most important turn in your entire life path. Sometimes we have to square our shoulders, hold our heads high and march forward to see the king…or his equivalent.As the class was watching Beth Moore on DVD, I thought of my daughter Carrie and how courageous she has been at certain points in her life.
After graduating from college, she lived at home for only a short time and then moved to Georgetown BY HERSELF. She was teaching at an elementary school there, and while it made perfect sense to live in the town where she worked, it was hard for me to accept. Fear of what could happen to this young 23 year old stalked me day and night. I shuddered to think of her going home there alone after work. She didn’t even have any friends there at first, but as the weeks passed, she made friends and adjusted to her job.
After tasting independence for a season, Carrie decided it was time to find that special someone. What did she do? She moved farther away, this time to Charleston. With this move, she had a roommate, and that alleviated some of my anxiety. Still, it was a bigger area, more traffic, more crime…you get the picture. I was a nervous Nellie. I was the one who needed to take lessons from Esther, not Carrie.
I’m not sure of the timeline, but I think she’d been there less than two weeks when she met Rich, her future husband. Recently graduated from the University of Utah, he was now an officer in the Navy who had just reported to the Charleston Naval Base. They both found the Singles Ward in North Charleston and met at church. That was ten years ago. They’re now the busy parents of four active preschoolers, one a precious newborn, and it all happened because Carrie faced the fear and made one of the most important decisions in her life, one that will affect her and her progeny forever.
In the DVD portion of the Bible study, Beth Moore reminded us that no one in our lives is a greater deterrent to our destiny more than we are to ourselves. Like Esther and Carrie, you may be one important decision away from your destiny. It could be a life and death situation like Esther's, a relocation decision like Carrie's, or something as seemingly small as making a phone call, enrolling in a course, or starting a blog.
YOU are in charge of your destiny. What are some choices that you've already made that required courage? How did you do it? What were/are some of the ramifications of that decision?
I like to picture Esther as she walks out of the women’s area into the king’s presence. At some point, she must have turned a corner and realized, perhaps trembling, that there was no turning back. She’s dressed in her royal robe, her queenly attire, and when Ahasuerus sees her standing in the court, he addresses her as Queen Esther. Queen Esther, not just plain old Esther. She’s put thought into her appearance, and her attention to detail does not go unnoticed by the king. He seems pleased to see her, extends his scepter, and asks for her request.
Esther faced the fear. Have you? Will you? Just think about it. You could very well be one brave decision away from the most important turn in your entire life path. Sometimes we have to square our shoulders, hold our heads high and march forward to see the king…or his equivalent.As the class was watching Beth Moore on DVD, I thought of my daughter Carrie and how courageous she has been at certain points in her life.
After graduating from college, she lived at home for only a short time and then moved to Georgetown BY HERSELF. She was teaching at an elementary school there, and while it made perfect sense to live in the town where she worked, it was hard for me to accept. Fear of what could happen to this young 23 year old stalked me day and night. I shuddered to think of her going home there alone after work. She didn’t even have any friends there at first, but as the weeks passed, she made friends and adjusted to her job.
After tasting independence for a season, Carrie decided it was time to find that special someone. What did she do? She moved farther away, this time to Charleston. With this move, she had a roommate, and that alleviated some of my anxiety. Still, it was a bigger area, more traffic, more crime…you get the picture. I was a nervous Nellie. I was the one who needed to take lessons from Esther, not Carrie.
I’m not sure of the timeline, but I think she’d been there less than two weeks when she met Rich, her future husband. Recently graduated from the University of Utah, he was now an officer in the Navy who had just reported to the Charleston Naval Base. They both found the Singles Ward in North Charleston and met at church. That was ten years ago. They’re now the busy parents of four active preschoolers, one a precious newborn, and it all happened because Carrie faced the fear and made one of the most important decisions in her life, one that will affect her and her progeny forever.
In the DVD portion of the Bible study, Beth Moore reminded us that no one in our lives is a greater deterrent to our destiny more than we are to ourselves. Like Esther and Carrie, you may be one important decision away from your destiny. It could be a life and death situation like Esther's, a relocation decision like Carrie's, or something as seemingly small as making a phone call, enrolling in a course, or starting a blog.
YOU are in charge of your destiny. What are some choices that you've already made that required courage? How did you do it? What were/are some of the ramifications of that decision?
Monday, September 15, 2008
Jochabed, Hannah, and Laresa
How must the mothers of Helaman's stripling young warriors have felt when their sons went off to battle? How about Jochabed when she put Moses in a basket in the Nile or Hannah when she took Samuel to Eli? Throughout the scriptures there are stories of mothers who basically turned their sons over to God to use for His purposes, and today I'm thinking of a modern day mother, Laresa, who said good bye to her son this morning. She joins mothers all over the world whose sons and daughters will be reporting to the MTCs in their areas this week to prepare for two-year missions.
Yesterday afternoon I attended a reception for Laresa's son Zachary, and as I watched his parents, especially his mother, I couldn't help but remember the way I felt five years ago when my son left on his mission. All of us were upbeat and happy at his farewell, and there was much laughter, conversation, and great food. Still, not even the sweet, rich, chocolately taste of the brownies could completely distract me from the angst I felt. I knew what was ahead of me (us), and I remember making a supreme effort to be peppy.
Here's my experience that I lifted right from Musings of a Missionary Mom. I hope it helps Laresa and Boyd a little. "Filled with emotions ranging from excitement and anxiety to deep sadness, I remember laughing at the crazy good bye handshakes that he shared with his buddies. Then there was the moment when I took him aside for one last “mom talk” before he left for Utah. Although I thought I was doing fine, a photograph taken by my daughter Elizabeth shows otherwise. What a crumpled up, tear- streaked face. Then came the moment when he walked through the turnstile and had to remove his shoes for security purposes. He smiled as if it say, “Yeah, well, what’s a body to do?”
I gulped. He was gone. Or no, there he was walking up the steps, grinning down at us through the palm trees. His father, more knowledgeable than I about the workings of the Myrtle Beach Airport, walked down a short nearby hallway for one last glance as Elder Crolley hustled toward the plane, turning to wave one last time.
Still reluctant to say good bye, we walked outside and waited for the plane to actually fly westward. There we stood on a small embankment, waving adios.
It was so hard to see him leave, despite the fact that I knew he was doing the Lord’s work and that my son would be in his Heavenly Father’s care. I also knew that EC would be back in SC in two years, and that he’d have left the Torreon Mission a better place. Still, with the hole in my heart and the ache in my chest, I missed him. I missed him and marveled at the love our Heavenly Father had for us, so much love that he sent his only begotten son to die for us."
Elder Campbell will be back in SC in two years, but the influence on the people of Arizona will go on and on. Just like the mothers we read about in the scriptures, Laresa has basically turned her son over to God in faith.
Yesterday afternoon I attended a reception for Laresa's son Zachary, and as I watched his parents, especially his mother, I couldn't help but remember the way I felt five years ago when my son left on his mission. All of us were upbeat and happy at his farewell, and there was much laughter, conversation, and great food. Still, not even the sweet, rich, chocolately taste of the brownies could completely distract me from the angst I felt. I knew what was ahead of me (us), and I remember making a supreme effort to be peppy.
Here's my experience that I lifted right from Musings of a Missionary Mom. I hope it helps Laresa and Boyd a little. "Filled with emotions ranging from excitement and anxiety to deep sadness, I remember laughing at the crazy good bye handshakes that he shared with his buddies. Then there was the moment when I took him aside for one last “mom talk” before he left for Utah. Although I thought I was doing fine, a photograph taken by my daughter Elizabeth shows otherwise. What a crumpled up, tear- streaked face. Then came the moment when he walked through the turnstile and had to remove his shoes for security purposes. He smiled as if it say, “Yeah, well, what’s a body to do?”
I gulped. He was gone. Or no, there he was walking up the steps, grinning down at us through the palm trees. His father, more knowledgeable than I about the workings of the Myrtle Beach Airport, walked down a short nearby hallway for one last glance as Elder Crolley hustled toward the plane, turning to wave one last time.
Still reluctant to say good bye, we walked outside and waited for the plane to actually fly westward. There we stood on a small embankment, waving adios.
It was so hard to see him leave, despite the fact that I knew he was doing the Lord’s work and that my son would be in his Heavenly Father’s care. I also knew that EC would be back in SC in two years, and that he’d have left the Torreon Mission a better place. Still, with the hole in my heart and the ache in my chest, I missed him. I missed him and marveled at the love our Heavenly Father had for us, so much love that he sent his only begotten son to die for us."
Elder Campbell will be back in SC in two years, but the influence on the people of Arizona will go on and on. Just like the mothers we read about in the scriptures, Laresa has basically turned her son over to God in faith.
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