Following Brooke

I doubt if anyone who attended Fast and Testimony Meeting in our ward Sunday came away unmoved. If so, I have to think that he or she has a cold, cold heart or serious struggles with “the adversary.” One of the things I love so much about these meetings is that I get to learn what’s in the hearts of others…how they really feel about life, their families, and of course the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some people express gratitude, and others share struggles and concerns.

Time prohibits a full account of all of the testimonies I heard, so I’ll just share a couple that are on my mind today. Let’s start with yours truly. I had actually forgotten that it was F & T Sunday until I arrived, and as soon as I was reminded of it, I thought something like, “Oh great. I love to hear what my fellow church members have to say.” Almost instantly, I recalled something I’d read in one of Henry B. Eyring’s books about listening to others, something about how God will speak to you when and if you earnestly listen to the words of others when they are speaking about Him and/or spiritual matters. It occurred to me that it’s not fair to always be on the listening side and that I needed to share my testimony with my ward family.

Anxiety kept me in my seat for about two minutes until I remembered my sweet little granddaughter Brooke. Though only 5, she often bravely walks up on the stand and tells the congregation how much she loves Jesus…and her family. What a great role model! I shared several thoughts with the congregation Sunday, but the primary one was that regardless of what kind of suffering, pain, loss, heartache, disappointment, or despair, there is only one source of solace. I don’t know the reason for so much pain and evil in the world; I only know that without some sort of faith in a Supreme Being, you’re in for a much rougher road.

*Kitty talked about the power of prayer and how she’d felt its power so many times in her life.
*Mari, a lovely young woman, began her testimony in a way that reflected my feelings to a tee. She said she had felt compelled to come to the front, and yet when she got there and saw all of the people staring at her, she thought something like, “Am I really up here? How did I get here????” Anyway, one of the many things she said that found me nodding in agreement is she knew every person there was anxious for her success and happiness, and that although she didn’t know everyone, she knew that every single person would stand behind her…and would help her if necessary. She’s right, you know. I’ve felt that unity many times.
*Then there was Willette whose words made me chuckle a little. She shared that when her son was on his mission, she and her husband Larry vowed to bring as much harmony and peace into their lives as possible. They decided to begin singing a Primary song, I’m Trying to be Like Jesus, every time either of them raised their voice, began gossiping, acting uncharitable, etc. She said she bet they sang that hymn a million times!
*Izzy spoke of her love for the gospel and her deep gratefulness of how it had come into her life.
*Joann told of some of her challenges in life and of how thoughts of Joseph Smith and his unflinching courage had often strengthened her. She shared a specific example of how painful a “tar and feather” incident had been, especially when his wife Emma unavoidably removed pieces of his flesh when peeling off the tar.

We closed the last meeting, Relief Society, with Love One Another, and I left the building buoyed up by the music, words, hugs, smiles, talks, lessons, and prayers of the morning. It’s only Tuesday, and I’ve been annoyed and irritated plenty of times since then. But you know what? I think of Willette and Larry singing and find myself humming the tune to their song.

More Mary, Less Martha

Sometimes all people want is to be heard. A couple of weeks ago, my father-in-law passed away, and as several of us were standing outside of his room, an elderly gentleman walked up and said something like, “I know what you’re going through.” He and I looked at each other eyeball to eyeball, and when he knew that I was listening, he told me that his wife of many decades that died three months earlier, somewhat unexpectedly. I could have said, “Can’t you see that we’re sort of tied up with our own sorrow right now?” but I didn’t. Along with a couple of other people, I just stood there and listened.

I’ve often pondered over the brevity of Mary and Martha story in Luke. Although short, it contains many lessons, primarily the one about keeping our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds centered on the words of Christ. That short passage in Luke has prompted many discussions among my female friends as we struggle to balance the demands of our families and homes with the need to search, ponder, and pray.

This past week I learned yet another way to interpret the Mary/Martha story. When Christ tells Martha that Mary is about the “better part,” I think that he’s referring to her state of attentive mindfulness in general. Not only is he telling the sisters that listening to His words is important, but He’s also implying that we need to adopt that attitude when with our loved ones…and anyone else who’s in need of a listener.

Within our homes, there is often space and separation when there could be connectedness and communication. We talk and listen, but we do it with our heads and not our hearts. We discuss bills, dinner plans, the weather, and the latest movies, but we avoid feelings and dreams. We’re always flitting about hither, thither, and yon when perhaps our time would be better spent just listening, being fully present. Without being judgmental, impatient, or “cumbered about,” we need to sit quietly in the presence of these people in our lives.

Doesn’t Christ say that when you’ve done it unto the least of one of these, that we’ve done it unto Him? So while reading scriptures and praying is important, so is paying mindful attention to others. This week, I’ve been trying to follow Christ’s gentle instruction to Martha, and it’s SO HARD. I find myself wanting to rush in and finish sentences, go for a walk, or give advice. Part of my struggle is because of life in the 21st century with all of its craziness. Excuses aside, I’ve been instructed by the Master himself, so I’m earnestly going to try harder to be more patient and thoughtful.

Sometimes all people want is to be heard.

Life Goes On

When asked what he’d learned about life, Robert Frost reportedly said, “It goes on.” Yesterday and today, I've been thinking about those three little words quite a bit. My father-in-law died yesterday afternoon, and while there was sadness all around, there was also conversation about the business of life. Who would the pallbearers be? What should be included in the obituary? When I left for work this morning, my husband was busy reading the up-to-date news on the internet. I had already washed a load of clothes and gathered the trash for the garbage pickup. Life goes on.

A friend of mine lost his mother a few years ago, and the "life goes on" proverb applies to her situation as well. Truly one of "Eve's Sisters," this mother and grandmother had lived a full and loving life. I remember dealing with some of my friend's students and how struck I was with the stark juxtaposition of life and death.

Here's the excerpt from my book:

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

Although there was a note on the door indicating that the instructor would not be meeting his class today, the students were standing around speculating about what they should do. “Was a substitute coming?” they wondered aloud. “Was there a homework assignment?” Overhearing their comments, I stopped to tell them that their instructor’s mother had passed away and that he would probably be back in class by Thursday.

Conscientious and anxious about the Spanish class, they pressed for more information on what I thought they should do. “Check his resource page,” I suggested. “You know that if he has any announcements or assignments, he’ll post them there.” Seemingly satisfied with that answer, they began to disperse.

Walking away, I thought of how even death itself makes no dent in the lives of those not personally affected. Jim’s saintly mother had gone to meet her Maker, and his students, although concerned about him and his welfare, wanted to know about their Espanol assignments. Knowing Jim, I knew that despite his grief, he too had his classes and responsibilities on his mind. After all, life goes on. Bills must be paid, obligations must be met, and students must be taught proper verb conjugations and days of the week in Espanol.

Further reflection reminded me of doctrine I’d been taught since childhood: Physical death is spiritual birth. Although it’s natural for the living to mourn the loss of a loved one, the recently departed are yet living for they have been spiritually reborn. I recalled how Jim had described his mother’s strong belief in the power of prayer and of her daily study of the scriptures. In fact, when taking a test to enter Seminary decades earlier, Jim successfully completed the exam on the first try because of his mother’s tutelage.

“Yes,” I thought, “Life goes on, and today this faithful Christian was alive in a more heavenly sphere.”

“When we die we shall go on living.” Gordon B. Hinckley

And I sincerely believe that. We do keep on living...in another sphere, a more celestial one. Here on earth and there in the heavens, life goes on.