Fight in TJ Maxx

I keep reliving a scene I witnessed a few weeks ago. I was in one of my favorite retail establishments in Myrtle Beach when I heard a loud, angry voice. It was coming from a man standing in the aisle who was evidently upset with the way the young woman he was with had disciplined a child. He used the f-word a couple of times and then added the b-word to it. By this time, the small child was crying, and the woman was talking back. Actually, they seemed pretty evenly matched as far as their yelling obscenities skills were concerned. Neither seemed aware of the sobbing child, and as they walked away towards the door, both were still hurling insults and threats


Everyone around me stopped to gawk. It’s not that we wanted to. We just didn’t know what to do or if we should do anything. A woman looking at the same merchandise that I was said, “Look at my arms! There are goose bumps everywhere!” Seriously, you could have heard a pin drop.

One of my daughters was with me but had opted to stay in car. When I rejoined her, she said, “Mama, you wouldn’t believe what I just saw.” She proceeded to tell me about the fighting couple and what had happened in the parking lot. The young woman had physically attacked him and walked off with the child, and the man had stomped off in a different direction.

Where is this young woman today? Is she raising the child alone? Was the verbally abusive young man the father of the child? Are they married? Are they still together? If so, is it because she has no recourse at the moment, or is it because she genuinely loves the guy? Did my little window of into their lives reveal a rare moment of anger, or was that typical of their lives? Why didn’t either of them notice the sobbing child?

What I think is that women who are abused, neglected, hurt, cast aside, downtrodden, abandoned, or depressed have a God who loves them. I also think that sometimes emotional and psychological pain can be so horrific and overwhelming that a person can’t think straight, much less feel His spirit. All she can do is feel distress and despair, and unless someone helps her, her life could continue a downward spiral.

Several women in the Bible suffered rejection, sadness, betrayal, and heartache. For starters, there’s Hagar who, at Sarah’s request, was banished by Abraham to the desert with her son Ishmael. It’s not as though they were sent on a trip. They were sent there to die! Sure, Abraham sent them away with bread and a bottle of water, but how long was that supposed to last? Fortunately for Hagar, God saved their lives and promised to make Ishmael “a great nation.” (Genesis 21:18)

And there’s Tamar, the beautiful daughter of David who was raped by her half-brother Amnon. Using the ruse of illness, he requested that she bring food to his room, and although she begged him not to, he raped his half-sister. After the rape, Amnon “hated her exceedingly” and told her to “Arise, be gone.” (2 Samuel 13:15) Tamar is devastated by this act, and although her father David is angry about it, he apparently does nothing. Her brother Absalom takes her into his home, and two years later, he arranges for Amnon’s death (2 Samuel 13:28). I’ve often wondered whether Amnon’s murder affected Tamar’s well-being.

Fast forward to the New Testament, specifically the 8th chapter of John in which scribes and Pharisees bring Christ a woman caught in the act of adultery. As an aside, I’ve often wondered who and where her partner was. Her accusers remind Christ that according to Mosaic law, she should be stoned. He ponders for a moment, writes something in the sand, and then instructs whoever is without sin to cast the first stone. Just He and the accused woman are left, and He says, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

What all three of these instances share with that of the young woman in TJ Maxx is that they each portray a woman who is downtrodden, betrayed, shunned, ridiculed, or hurt. While I don’t profess to know how it works, I know that His love is available to all women. Neither condemning nor chastising, He is there.

Tamar's Courage

A few months ago I was so impressed with Esther and her courage that I wrote several posts about her. I saw her as a valiant woman who was so brave that she risked her life in the fight to save her people. I’m still impressed with her, but the more I read and ponder the women of the bible, the more I realize that she wasn’t the only courageous one. Tonight I’m thinking about Tamar, Judah’s daughter-in-law, the one he conveniently forgot about and sent back to her father’s house. It was sort of a “don’t call me, I’ll call you” arrangement.

But first a little background.Her first husband, Judah’s son Er, was dead. After Er died, Judah instructed his second son, Onan, to sleep with Tamar in order to provide her with a male offspring. It seems weird to us in this day and time, but it was part of the levirate marriage agreement, sort of a security net for young widows. A child would provide Tamar with someone who would take care of her in old age. Although Onan seemed to comply, he practiced coitus interruptus. After all, if Tamar had conceived, Onan’s share of the inheritance would be reduced.

With two sons dead, Judah has only one son left, and this is where the plot thickens. He promises Tamar that when young Shelah matures, he will send for her so that Shelah can perform his brotherly duty. Time passes, and when Judah reneges on his promise, Tamar realizes that she has to do something. If not, her fate as a powerless, penniless widow seems certain.

What does she do? She takes off her widow’s weeds and goes to Timnah, a town where Judah is heading to shear sheep. Tamar disguises herself as a harlot and sits waiting for him to arrive, hoping to entice him to engage her services. Now a widower, Judah notices Tamar, and they are intimate with each other. To make this story seem even more bizarre (to me anyway), he doesn’t even recognize his daughter-in-law. While it’s true that Judah probably never saw her face, you’d think that perhaps he’d have recognized her voice when she spoke to him of the signet, bracelets, and staff that he was to leave with her.

You know how this story ends. Tamar conceives, and when Judah hears that Tamar is pregnant from playing the harlot, he sentences her to death without even seeing her. When he learns that he’s the father of her unborn children (actually two of them), he states that she is more righteous than he. Judah knows that not only has he not lived up to his end of the bargain but also that he was as guilty as Tamar when it comes to “whoredoms.”

Whether the story has a happy ending is a matter of perspective. There was no happy-ever-after marriage, and yet Judah “steps up to the plate,” and Tamar secures her rightful place in the family. She gives birth to twins, one of whom (Pharez) is an ancestor of Boaz. Tamar is in the genealogy of Christ.
To me, that’s a remarkable story, even more so when I ponder Tamar’s courage. Her choices were to stay forever in her father’s house, not free to remarry, or to take matters into her own hands. Still, it was risky. What if Judah had recognized her and punished her on the spot? What if she hadn’t conceived? What if Judah said the bracelets, signet, and staff weren’t his? Not to mention the fact that she had to be intimate with her father-in-law!

How courageous are you? How far would you go to secure your future? Would you risk everything?