Vashti's Downfall

Good looks are an advantage in life…or so I’ve been told. Research study after research study confirms this. Ah, you want evidence? Google it, and I’m sure you’ll speedily find tons of studies validating the importance of appearance. Even without reading scientific studies, a casual perusal of popular magazines cites instances of people getting their noses straightened, eyes “fixed,” and teeth whitened. Sometimes it’s vanity, and sometimes it’s the ever increasing pressure to look GOOD. All of us aren’t born with Angelina Jolie’s stunning good looks. Then too, there’s the ageism thing that forces many middle aged adults to erase wrinkles and tighten loose skin in order to better compete in the job market with the younger set.

Let’s get back to Angelina. She’s a looker, no doubt about it. But then, isn’t there something else appealing about her? I know a lot of people don’t like her, but even they have to admit that the woman can act. She also seems to be a good mother and a philanthropist. If Brad decides to leave her for a younger model, she won’t crumble and fall. She might falter, but she’ll get up, brush herself off, and rely on some of her many abilities and gifts. While looks are important to her, she hasn’t put all of her eggs in one basket. Have you?

You might wonder where I’m going with this. I’m still stuck on Queen Vashti. We know she was beautiful, so beautiful that the king wanted her to come out wearing her crown so that he could show her off to the other men. They’d all been drinking and were “merry with wine.” Why would he ask his life partner, his companion, his bride to come out and parade around in front of a bunch of inebriated guys? Some Bible scholars have even suggested that he wanted her to wear only her crown.

Remember how the story ends? She refuses. He gets angry, “very wroth, and his anger burned in him.” (Esther 1:12) After conferring with his “wise men,” Ahasuerus decides to divorce Vashti. After all, what if her example is followed by the other wives in the kingdom?

I might be looking at this wrong, but it finally hit me that Vashti had put all of her eggs in one basket, the beauty basket. That’s all she had…or that’s all we know about anyway. She didn’t reason with the king or use any other talents to dissuade him from his behest. She just said no. While I understand that Ahasuerus divorcing Vashti had to happen in order for Queen Esther to inherit the throne, I still think there’s an interesting and somewhat disturbing lesson here.

What happens to a beautiful woman who’s developed no other attributes other than her appearance? What if her hair loses its gloss or her skin its elasticity? What if the king in your life wants to talk about politics, philosophy, or even pottery, and you can’t hold up your end of the conversation? What if someone more glamorous comes on the scene, and all you have to offer are your face and figure? Don’t you think it’s about time to diversify? Don’t you think it’s in your best interest to cultivate a few interests of your own? Don’t you KNOW that while appearance counts, you need a little more than that to be successful?

Vashti and Esther

My sister-in-law Karen and I were chatting about her many goings-on the other evening, and she mentioned a Bible study that she’s participating in. I asked her what she was studying, and when she said Esther, that really aroused my interest.

“I really don’t know that much about her,” I said. “All I know is that she was the one who married the king after he divorced his wife, the one who wouldn’t come out and show herself to a group of male revelers.”

“Can you blame her?” Karen asked. “Some people wonder if the king expected Vashti to come out wearing nothing but a crown. After all, he was ‘merry with wine.’”

As Karen and I talked some more, I realized that I actually knew more than I thought I did…but not as much as I want to know. So tonight I’m taking the plunge. I’m going to First Baptist to learn more about Queen Esther, the queen who was brave enough risk her life to save her people. Her words, if I recall (too lazy to get out my scriptures) correctly, were, “If I perish, I perish.” I’m also hoping to learn more about Vashti, the queen who said no to the king’s request. She must have been one brave lady, and I think there’s a lesson or two to be learned from her as well.

The scriptures are replete with these wonderful, meaty stories, and all of them (in my opinion) contain layers of lessons. Right now I'm thinking of Vashti's refusal. Was she anxious about repercussions? Was she arrogant? Did the other women applaud her refusal to go before the king, or were they afraid for her? Is there a message there for women today?

Time is short. I need to get ready "for class." I just love taking classes and learning new things and gaining insight, especially into spiritual matters.

Sunday Thoughts

We have a unique and wonderful practice in the LDS church in that members have the opportunity to share their testimonies with each other on the first Sunday of each month. The meeting itself is referred to as Fast and Testimony meeting because after abstaining from food and water for two meals, members then give the money they would have spent on those meals to the church welfare program.

It’s a great plan, a divinely inspired one. I’m not saying that everyone is perfect and that all fast, pray, donate, and bear their testimonies each month, but I am saying that the majority do…at least from my vantage point. Well, there are probably more who donate fast offerings that who actually fast and there are undoubtedly more who have testimonies than those who bear them. After all, it takes courage to walk to the front and speak before a couple of hundred people (or more, depending on the size of the ward).

That said, today I watched a little 10 year old brave his way towards the stage and felt inspired by him. If a child can do it, so can I. When I sat beside him to wait our turns, I whispered, “You’re my role model.” He smiled. I looked to my right and saw Sophia seated at the organ. We exchanged glances, and before I knew it, she was seated beside me, also waiting her turn. A moment later, Telene joined us on the stand. That’s another great thing about the church: We do a lot of encouraging and supporting. Later, Lisa bore a heartfelt testimony and mentioned that her father had once told her that if you stop learning and “climbing,” you’re just coasting. Who wants to do that?

Here’s an abbreviated version of the testimony that I bore today. I know that God is our Heavenly Father and that Jesus is His Son. I believe that the Bible is the word of God and that we can find answers to all of life’s questions and mysteries in the scriptures. I also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God and that it’s another testament of Jesus Christ. I believe that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and that he was the first in a long line of holy latter-day prophets. I believe that Thomas S. Monson is the Lord’s prophet upon the earth today and that his counsel will never lead us astray. He's asked us to serve others and to be more forgiving. Can anyone find fault with that????

Some people think prophets must wear robes, have long white beards, and carry staffs (or something akin to that). I wonder if these people would listen to President Monson more closely if he looked like that. I don’t think so; in fact, I think someone would try to lock him up. Some say that prophets can only be found within the pages of the Bible. Why would that be so? Don’t we need direction today just as much as people did thousands of years ago? And don’t you think that the things we need to hear might be a little different? While I believe that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, I think that the Israelites needed to hear about taking care of mildew and that we need to know about the perils of pornography. And I don’t think God would leave us wondering about these issues.

Back to today, one of the many things I love about the church is that we learn SO MUCH from each other. I especially enjoy F & T Meeting because I learn a little more about my church family and a lot more about how the gospel of Jesus Christ is helping them in their lives. Usually, I’m on the receiving end of the equation; today I gave a little in that I shared my feelings about my Creator, Christ’s atoning sacrifice, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I mentioned that I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life, some good and some not. However, the BEST decision I ever made was to join this great church 25 years ago. It’s made all the difference in the paths I walk and in the lives of my children and grandchildren.

Woman at the Well

I almost always have a little notebook, journal, or pad with me in case I need to write something down. It could be a thought that needs to be recorded before I forget it, or it could be something I hear or read that I need to jot down. I've even been known to scribble things on receipts and checkbook covers when browsing through Barnes & Noble. When I look back over notes that I've recorded in church meetings, I'm amazed at their truth...and a little disconcerted that I might have lost them forever had I not taken the time to write them.

That said, I discovered these thoughts in an old notebook this morning: "Remember the woman at the well story. Christ did three things: He defended her, he loved and cared for her, and he gently instructed her. We need to show more love and appreciation for those we love and to live the higher law. Wouldn’t it be great if we knew that everyone in the ward was going to defend us and that they all loved us?"

I don't know who gave that talk, but whoever it was, thank you for the reminder.

Our Children

I have Mary on my mind again today. I’ve been rereading passages from Jesus the Christ by Talmadge and was particularly captivated by his comments about Mary’s understanding of her son and his divine mission. Remember when she and Joseph were on the way home from Jerusalem and discovered that Jesus was not among them? They returned to the temple and found him talking with the learned rabbis and told him that they had been worried about him. Seemingly surprised, he answered, “How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”

Mary was his mother; about that the scriptures are clear. At this juncture, however, it’s almost as if she has forgotten her son’s divine paternity. Joseph was not his father, and his father had not been looking for him for he was at that moment in his father’s house. Nevertheless, recognizing Joseph’s and his mother’s guardianship of him, Jesus left with them for Nazareth.

According to Talmadge, Mary appears to have never really understood her son and states, “He was hers, and yet in a very real sense not wholly hers.” I’ve read that sentence over and over again with this thought: That’s the same with all children. They’re ours but not really wholly ours. They all have their spark of divinity, and we as mothers are responsible for giving them birth and guiding and loving them.

I think all mothers have experienced moments when we’ve asked ourselves questions such as, “Where did this child come from?” “Where did she or he get this particular talent or propensity?” "Why can't I make him do what I want him to (we know best, right?)" I think these moments become increasingly frequent as our children advance into the teen years. By the time they’re young adults, sometimes they seem like strangers to us. Where did the swaddled infant go? How did this child get to be so savvy, knowledgeable, opinionated, aloof, or whatever the adjective might be?

It sort of reminds me of the passage from Kahlil Gibran’s “On Children.” I’m not comparing us to Mary. I’m saying that our children are not truly ours. They belong to God. They have their own hearts and minds, and they’re on loan to us for a while.

On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Tamar and Others

Yesterday, my sister-in-law Lisa and my niece Sarah Beth met for some Sunday afternoon refreshment and conversation. I asked them what they'd learned in church that morning that would help them throughout the week. Lisa began telling me about certain prayers in which the people (like Hannah, for instance) who had been recipients of God's beneficence spoke prayers of praise rather than of thanksgiving. She wasn't saying whether it was good or bad but was simply reporting something that had been discussed in church. After a moment, Sarah Beth spoke up and confessed that she thought it was boring. I love her honesty and youthful spirit!

When I was 20, I probably felt the same way SB does. The people in the Bible were like characters in a novel, not really real. And truthfully, they weren't really that interesting either. As I've gotten older, I've looked beneath the surface at these people and can see their multi-dimensional essences. These were real people who lived and died and often did a lot of suffering in-between. I'm not inclined to go into a lot of detail tonight, but let's just consider a couple...or a few.

*Think about Sarai, later Sarah, who gave birth late in life after following Abraham hither, thither, and yon. A couple of times, she even went to live in a palace as part of a harem so that they'd be safe. And I wonder how she felt when Abraham took her only son Isaac away as a sacrifice?
*Think about Jezebel who got ravaged by dogs. A lot of good her makeup and hairdo did her that day!
*Then there's Leah, always second in Jacob's affections although she was his first wife.
*And oh my, look at Lot's daughters who "trick" their father into having relations wit them so that they can have children.
*I even told Sarah Beth a little bit about Judah's sexual encounter with his daughter-in-law Tamar that resulted in the birth of twins. Judah didn't know that his partner was Tamar because she was disguised as a harlot.

So Sarah Beth and anyone else who might think the Bible is boring, take a look inside and you might be surprised.

Mary's Strength

Can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted anything on this blog. Actually, I began to get a little discouraged because no one except for Connie and Putz ever responded. Connie, devoted friend that she is, gently told me that it might be because the posts were hard to understand and that people didn't know what to say. She's probably right. I think I might have "overthought" them. So tonight, I'm going to post something relatively short and simple about Mary, the mother of Jesus.

After re-reading the Christmas story several times during the recent holidays, I found myself thinking of how lonely she must have been. There's no record of her talking to her parents, a friend, or Joseph (until later). She and Gabriel talked briefly, and then he too disappeared. Since he had told her about her cousin Elisabeth, Mary traveled to see her, and as we know, Elisabeth's baby John moved within her, and she knew that Mary was carrying the Savior. Still, the information is scanty. Did the two women talk? Was she afraid? Excited?

After John the Baptist was born, Mary returned to her home and had to "face the music." Joseph loved her and wanted to do the right thing, and yet....When the angel appeared to him in a dream, he knew he had been right in beleiving that his betrothed was a woman of honor. Still, the two of them had no one to talk to except each other, and although they'd both had heavenly visitations, it must have still been a bit awkward at times.

She was so young, so courageous, so full of faith. I think of the scores of women I've known of all ages, shapes, sizes, and backgrounds who've been "with child," and I can't recall even one of them who didn't share aspects of her pregnancy with others. Sometimes it was a particular discomfort or perhaps a fear, but the fact is that there was someone to talk to. Mary had no one...and wow, what a sacred secret she carried.