Why Phyllis?

I think Dorothea and I had just had lunch at Nacho Hippo at Market Commons Friday when I got an unsettling message from Connie informing me that Phyllis was in ICU in our local hospital. Immediately, my mind conjured up an image of a beautiful woman with long, wavy blond hair and one of the sweetest faces I’ve ever seen. In recent years, she’s been struck with the BIG C, and as a result of the super strong meds, she lost her lovely tresses. I LOVED the way she looked when wearing her short strawberry blond wig, and I told her so on more than one occasion.


“You look so chic,” I’d said to her. “Plus, I can really see just how pretty your face is.”

She conquered the deadly disease, only to have it return with a vengeance, this time in her bones. Over the past several months, I’d seen her health deteriorate until finally she came to church using oxygen and sitting in a wheelchair. She was quieter, and even more serene than she had been prior to becoming sick. She seemed watchful, waiting. I admired her strength and began to feel concern for her two young children.

Saturday morning when I checked my messages on FB, the first was one from Connie informing me that Phyllis had passed away. Incredulous, I tried my best to keep the thought at bay. All day Saturday, I did entirely self-indulgent things with my family to bring in the new year, things like shopping, movie viewing, and dining out, and yet throughout the day, visions of Phyllis entered my mind. One in particular kept coming back, unbidden and a little disturbing. It was the last time I taught in Relief Society, two short weeks ago, and she sat to my right on the front row. She didn’t say anything that day, just listened intently.

Sunday morning, I opted to forgo that one last family get-together and decided to go to the beach instead. Sure hope my Christian friends don’t judge me for this, especially since the last lesson I taught was on keeping the Sabbath holy. I walked on the foggy beach for an hour and a half, and in that time I saw two horses, six dogs, 312 sea birds, and about eight people….and I listened to music on my iPod, especially hymns.

As I walked, I kept asking how this could happen to such as fine person as Phyllis. I actually got some answers, Folks. As I listened to “Where Can I Turn for Peace?” I remembered a story that Phyllis once told. She had received some disturbing family news and had passed a sleepless night. A master gardener, she arose early and went to her garden to work. She worked amongst her plants, and while pondering the news and praying for peace, she began to think, “Things will be fine. Everything will work out.” Remembering that story brought some solace.

Still, I couldn’t get her off of my mind. I just couldn’t understand how such a wonderful wife and mother could be taken from her family. Then I thought, “You can’t understand because you’re Jayne, not God. He has His reasons and is still in control here.” At that moment, a couple of verses from Isaiah came to mind, the ones about His ways and thoughts being higher than ours. It’s in Chapter 55, Verse 9: “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Everyone who knew Phyllis will miss her. At the same time, whenever I see her husband and children, remembering where she sought solace will bring some comfort. Plus, the fact that our ways are not God’s ways will bring understanding.

Eating the Fruit

I just discovered something interesting about Eve. You know how people are always saying that she tempted Adam into tasting the delicious fruit and that it’s all her fault that we’re in the shape we’re in? If she’d just done what God told her to do, then they might be still in the garden, and we might not even be here! That’s a story for another day, however. The tale I want to tell today has to do with just who told Eve about not partaking of the fruit from the tree of life. I’d always assumed it was God and that He gave these instructions to the first couple as they stood there together, listening and learning. Not so.


I recently discovered that God told Adam and Adam told Eve. It’s not that big of a deal, or is it? As people living at this time in the world’s history, we know a little more about Adam, and we perceive him as an honest person. However, Eve knew nothing about him other than that he was the only other person roaming through Eden who looked sort of like her. He wasn’t a pelican or fox or orangutan, but a human being. So how did she know she could trust him? And how did she know the serpent represented evil? Eve lacked the experience and knowledge that we now have.

Today we know right from wrong through reading the scriptures, from listening to spiritual leaders, and from hearing the whisperings of the still small voice. She might have had certain advantages that we don’t (she got to live in Eden for a while), but we have access to knowledge accumulated through centuries and from all nations. We can learn vicariously from the mistakes and foibles of others, but Eve had no one to observe other than Adam.

While living on Earth today has its complications and hardships, it also has some advantages. One of those advantages is having access to so much knowledge, information, and spiritual guidance. We don’t have to take our husband’s word for something…or our wife’s, mother’s, father’s, or teacher’s. We can go straight to the scriptures and then pray about our concerns and questions. We can receive personal revelation for ourselves.  I wonder if Eve even considered that.

I’m not making excuses for Mother Eve. I’m just saying that I was wrong about God actually telling her about the fruit and that today we have access to much more information than she did. Does that mean we make fewer mistakes? Does it mean that we stay away from temptation?

Lisa and Others

I’m a lucky gal to have so many wonderful friends who encourage, uplift, and inspire me. Most of them enlighten and teach me something every time I see them. And then some are quite entertaining and fun to be with. While they’re all different, they all have something in common: they’re good people trying hard to lead the best kind of life they can. We all slip and fall from time to time, and we all have our little weaknesses and soft spots, but when we fall, we get up, brush ourselves off, and get going. About those soft spots, well, we try not to let them get the better of us.

This post could be written about one of my friends, but tonight I have Lisa, one of my sisters-in-law, on my mind. It’s probably because I recently spent some time with her in Beaufort, NC where six of us had the opportunity to go on a sailing excursion. Becky, another sister-in-law was there too. Lisa, however, is the one who planned the trip and paid for the expedition itself. Sweet, huh? She’s like that. She wanted to do something special to celebrate my brother Mike’s 60th birthday, so the weekend was her brainchild. She even picked up the tab for dinner at the Front Street Restaurant that evening. That's her in the center of the picture above.

Here’s something I wrote about her five or six years ago that describes her to a tee.
“How fortunate we are to have Lisa in our family. My brother Mike’s wife,  Lisa, has always been stalwart and persevering in teaching Christian principles by both word and deed. Her spirit is sweet, and all within her sphere can sense her serene nature. Not only does Lisa work as a nurse at a large hospital, but she also performs all of the tasks involved in the so-called “second shift” described by sociologists. She plans and prepares healthy meals, decorates their home with taste and style, cleans and tidies their surroundings, shops wisely for bargains, takes care of everyone’s laundry, and rarely becomes ruffled.

"A good mother, Lisa has raised two responsible, mannerly sons who know of the presence of God in their lives and seek his guidance regularly. She and my brother have Sarah Beth, a young teenager who daily enters a war zone as she goes to high school, the mall, or social activities. Armed with years of her parents’ teachings and continuing immersion in church activities, she is helped in battling the adversary. My brother is blessed to have such a wife, someone who lovingly performs the duties of the virtuous woman spoken of in Proverbs.”

Proverbs 19:14
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children ariseu p, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

Serving Apple Pancakes

This post isn’t about one of the women in the Bible but rather a talk I heard a woman give in church Sunday. One of the things I enjoy about listening to people speak in church is that they often add another twist to a familiar story or scripture that I hadn’t considered before. This past Sunday one of my daughters and I had the good fortune to attend Sacrament meeting in an Atlanta, GA ward, and every speaker gave me food for thought, especially a simple comment by the last speaker. And the goodies in the picture above? You'll have to read the post to see how they relate.

We’re all familiar with the verse in Joshua in which he tells the Israelites that for him and his house, “We will serve the Lord.” He has admonished them to choose “this day” whom they will serve, not tomorrow or next week but THIS DAY. I’ve read and heard this verse about a hundred times or more. Really, I have. I’ve seen it cross stitched and placed on display. I’ve seen plaques and framed art with Joshua’s words hung on walls or sitting on small easels, words to remind “believers” of their choice.

Here’s my confession. I’ve always focused on the choosing part and not so much on the serving part. It’s a fact that tomorrow’s blessings, both temporal and spiritual, depend on the choices we make today. While the verbs seem to go together, I’ve been guilty of choosing more than serving; it’s easier and really requires no effort on my part. However, it makes perfect sense that if you choose Him, you would want to serve Him.

Since Sunday, I’ve been thinking more about the last section of Joshua 24:15 “…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” More specifically, I’ve been thinking about what serving actually means and what I could be doing. It doesn’t mean I have to serve a full-time mission or do volunteer work at the local hospital…although those are certainly worthy means of providing service. In my little corner of the world, I could feed the missionaries more often, treat a friend to lunch, send someone a note or card, watch a young mother’s child so that she could have a little free time, take a neighbor some cookies, advise a student on career choice, lend someone a book, and so forth. The list of little ways to follow Joshua’s instruction are numerous and varied.

I absolutely have to share a recent example of serving that I witnessed yesterday. It’s about my friend Connie who just came back from a mountain getaway with her husband. She took lots of beautiful pictures and posted them all on the internet for other people to enjoy. Then she started a little contest, and the winner is going to get a basket of goodies that Connie purchased while on her trip. I see that as serving. She could have kept everything (memories, pictures, and treats) all to herself. But she didn’t. She knows choosing means loving and sharing and serving, and that’s what she’s doing. Check out her blog at http://fogle143.blogspot.com/
and throw your name in the hat. (I couldn't get this link to work, but you can use the one to Loose Lemons in the sidebar).

I’m curious about the thoughts of any readers that might be reading this. Have you, like yours truly, focused more on the choosing than the serving part? Can you think of some little acts of service you’ve seen around you lately?

Perceived Righteousness

Watching Annual Conference was an interesting experience yesterday, quite challenging too. We don’t have the BYU channel here at the beach, but “no problem,” I thought. I had my trusty pink Dell laptop and was confident that we could all watch it online. And actually, I was right; we could watch it, but we really couldn’t hear it very well. Despite our efforts to change it, the volume stayed low. Plus, there was the constant background noise of four active little children, one of whom is still a demanding infant. Adorable beyond description, Colton just couldn’t understand why all the grown-ups had rather look at a computer screen than at him.

That said, I did get a few nuggets to ponder from yesterday’s experience. I was reminded of the importance of loving and serving one another. Despite a person’s skin color, country of origin, or bank account, he or she is still a child of a loving Heavenly Father. According to Elder Uchtdorf, sometimes people hold themselves in high esteem because of wealth, prestige, or perceived righteousness. I loved that he said that. Why?? Because it’s so true. For some reason, the wealth and prestige part doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the perceived righteousness.

The “holier than thou” aspect really bugs me. I’ve heard a woman hiss hatefully at her husband when he asked her a question during Sunday school, a woman who purports to be the perfect wife and mother. I’ve heard innumerable (yes, that many) accounts of people judging others (Did you see than short dress???) from people who darken the church doorways whenever they’re open. I’ve been in homes too cluttered and dirty to feel the spirit and been judged by its owners for drinking caffeine. When I was a younger mother, I was hurt many times by “well meaning Christians” who took it upon themselves to remind me that my place was in the home with my children, not in the workplace. I know people who wouldn’t watch a television program on Sunday who are so “righteous” that being around them is scary. Really.

I’m a roll this morning and could go on and on. But then, I’d be guilty of doing the very thing I’m preaching against: being judgmental and hypocritical. I’ll quit while I’m ahead. I hope we can embrace all of God’s children and remember that love is the word.

Following Brooke

I doubt if anyone who attended Fast and Testimony Meeting in our ward Sunday came away unmoved. If so, I have to think that he or she has a cold, cold heart or serious struggles with “the adversary.” One of the things I love so much about these meetings is that I get to learn what’s in the hearts of others…how they really feel about life, their families, and of course the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some people express gratitude, and others share struggles and concerns.

Time prohibits a full account of all of the testimonies I heard, so I’ll just share a couple that are on my mind today. Let’s start with yours truly. I had actually forgotten that it was F & T Sunday until I arrived, and as soon as I was reminded of it, I thought something like, “Oh great. I love to hear what my fellow church members have to say.” Almost instantly, I recalled something I’d read in one of Henry B. Eyring’s books about listening to others, something about how God will speak to you when and if you earnestly listen to the words of others when they are speaking about Him and/or spiritual matters. It occurred to me that it’s not fair to always be on the listening side and that I needed to share my testimony with my ward family.

Anxiety kept me in my seat for about two minutes until I remembered my sweet little granddaughter Brooke. Though only 5, she often bravely walks up on the stand and tells the congregation how much she loves Jesus…and her family. What a great role model! I shared several thoughts with the congregation Sunday, but the primary one was that regardless of what kind of suffering, pain, loss, heartache, disappointment, or despair, there is only one source of solace. I don’t know the reason for so much pain and evil in the world; I only know that without some sort of faith in a Supreme Being, you’re in for a much rougher road.

*Kitty talked about the power of prayer and how she’d felt its power so many times in her life.
*Mari, a lovely young woman, began her testimony in a way that reflected my feelings to a tee. She said she had felt compelled to come to the front, and yet when she got there and saw all of the people staring at her, she thought something like, “Am I really up here? How did I get here????” Anyway, one of the many things she said that found me nodding in agreement is she knew every person there was anxious for her success and happiness, and that although she didn’t know everyone, she knew that every single person would stand behind her…and would help her if necessary. She’s right, you know. I’ve felt that unity many times.
*Then there was Willette whose words made me chuckle a little. She shared that when her son was on his mission, she and her husband Larry vowed to bring as much harmony and peace into their lives as possible. They decided to begin singing a Primary song, I’m Trying to be Like Jesus, every time either of them raised their voice, began gossiping, acting uncharitable, etc. She said she bet they sang that hymn a million times!
*Izzy spoke of her love for the gospel and her deep gratefulness of how it had come into her life.
*Joann told of some of her challenges in life and of how thoughts of Joseph Smith and his unflinching courage had often strengthened her. She shared a specific example of how painful a “tar and feather” incident had been, especially when his wife Emma unavoidably removed pieces of his flesh when peeling off the tar.

We closed the last meeting, Relief Society, with Love One Another, and I left the building buoyed up by the music, words, hugs, smiles, talks, lessons, and prayers of the morning. It’s only Tuesday, and I’ve been annoyed and irritated plenty of times since then. But you know what? I think of Willette and Larry singing and find myself humming the tune to their song.

Life Goes On

When asked what he’d learned about life, Robert Frost reportedly said, “It goes on.” Yesterday and today, I've been thinking about those three little words quite a bit. My father-in-law died yesterday afternoon, and while there was sadness all around, there was also conversation about the business of life. Who would the pallbearers be? What should be included in the obituary? When I left for work this morning, my husband was busy reading the up-to-date news on the internet. I had already washed a load of clothes and gathered the trash for the garbage pickup. Life goes on.

A friend of mine lost his mother a few years ago, and the "life goes on" proverb applies to her situation as well. Truly one of "Eve's Sisters," this mother and grandmother had lived a full and loving life. I remember dealing with some of my friend's students and how struck I was with the stark juxtaposition of life and death.

Here's the excerpt from my book:

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

Although there was a note on the door indicating that the instructor would not be meeting his class today, the students were standing around speculating about what they should do. “Was a substitute coming?” they wondered aloud. “Was there a homework assignment?” Overhearing their comments, I stopped to tell them that their instructor’s mother had passed away and that he would probably be back in class by Thursday.

Conscientious and anxious about the Spanish class, they pressed for more information on what I thought they should do. “Check his resource page,” I suggested. “You know that if he has any announcements or assignments, he’ll post them there.” Seemingly satisfied with that answer, they began to disperse.

Walking away, I thought of how even death itself makes no dent in the lives of those not personally affected. Jim’s saintly mother had gone to meet her Maker, and his students, although concerned about him and his welfare, wanted to know about their Espanol assignments. Knowing Jim, I knew that despite his grief, he too had his classes and responsibilities on his mind. After all, life goes on. Bills must be paid, obligations must be met, and students must be taught proper verb conjugations and days of the week in Espanol.

Further reflection reminded me of doctrine I’d been taught since childhood: Physical death is spiritual birth. Although it’s natural for the living to mourn the loss of a loved one, the recently departed are yet living for they have been spiritually reborn. I recalled how Jim had described his mother’s strong belief in the power of prayer and of her daily study of the scriptures. In fact, when taking a test to enter Seminary decades earlier, Jim successfully completed the exam on the first try because of his mother’s tutelage.

“Yes,” I thought, “Life goes on, and today this faithful Christian was alive in a more heavenly sphere.”

“When we die we shall go on living.” Gordon B. Hinckley

And I sincerely believe that. We do keep on living...in another sphere, a more celestial one. Here on earth and there in the heavens, life goes on.

Freedom to Choose

I feel okay about the lesson I taught in Relief Society earlier today. No, wait, let me rephrase that. I think the lesson that the sisters and I taught in Relief Society went well today. In our ward, we “never walk alone,” so to speak. Anyone who’s ever taught in Camden knows that she can count on relevant participation from the class. Whether it’s sharing a story, reading a scripture, adding insight, or answering a question, we help each other.

Today the lesson was entitled “Freedom to Choose,” and before I’d gone too far into the lesson, Anita mentioned that while we’re free to choose our behavior, we’re not free to choose the consequence. So true! Hoping that someone would say that, I had actually put a stick in my bag as a visual aid. I held up the stick and said, “You can’t pick up one end of a stick without picking up the other.” You can’t choose a course of action without also picking up a consequence.

Naturally, we want the consequences to be good ones. We want to feel peace, joy, happiness, discernment, and the presence of the Holy Ghost as our companion. How can we do this? It’s simple. We need to learn and obey the commandments. From the lesson manual, God’s “commandments direct us away from danger and towards eternal life. We will gain exaltation, progress eternally, and enjoy perfect happiness.” Is there anyone out there who doesn’t want that??? I think it was Brigham Young who so aptly said, “If you want to enjoy the favor of our Heavenly Father, do His will.”

And how do you know His will? You search, ponder, and pray. You read scriptures, listen to uplifting talks, read inspirational literature, contemplate what you’ve read, and pray. Pray for guidance, for help with your family, for answers to questions, for clarity of thought, and for anything else you need. There’s nothing too small (or too large) to take to God in prayer.

Sometimes people get exasperated and impatient when they don’t immediately receive positive consequences for their choices. They don’t realize that there’s most often a space between the action and the consequence. As President Ezra Taft Benson said, “One of the trials of life is that we do not usually receive immediately the full blessing for righteousness or the full cursing for wickedness. That it will come is certain, but ofttimes there is a waiting period that occurs, as was the case with Job and Joseph.”

This post could go on and on, but I need to wrap it up and go for a walk. In the meantime, thanks to Joann, Cookie, Willette, Anita, Vickie, Martha, Cookie, Joy, Brenda and Sue for your comments and to the rest of the class for their attentiveness. We’re all in this together, and it’s wonderful to be a part of a sisterhood that helps me make good choices.

Not so Perfect

I’m one of the most fortunate people in the world. I have friends from all walks of life who offer support, encouragement, advice, and FUN. I don’t hang around with naysayers, at least not for long. I’m a firm believer that you can’t bring someone into the light by stepping into the darkness with them (an idea I picked up from Stephen Covey). Consequently, I try to surround myself with positive people. Connie is one of them.

The other night we met at Chili’s to share a belated birthday dinner, and we had a great conversation. We touched on children, grandchildren, aging, husbands, fashion, and yes…gospel principles. While she and I both strive to walk the straight path and to be as loving, accepting, and understanding as possible, we realize that we aren’t perfect. We also realize that no one is. Why then, do some people think they are and proceed to find fault with less than perfect people like Jayne and Connie?

We’re all at different places in our spiritual development. Some have no problems with paying tithing but can’t seem to pay a compliment to a spouse or child who might be starving for a kind word. Is it easier to write a check than give attention to loved ones? Some people keep the Sabbath holy and would rather go hungry than buy a loaf of bread on Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve heard some of these folks made snide and snarly remarks to others. Some people would never dream of drinking a glass of sweet tea, but might weigh an extra 50 or 60pounds. I recall hearing someone make disparaging remarks about a woman who often left church early (tsk tsk), but little did they know that she left to prepare and take meals to an elderly couple in her neighborhood.

I hope I don’t appear self-righteous or judgmental. I’m just saying that we’re all on different places in our spiritual development path, and that our job is to encourage, support, and help each other rather than bring them down or thwart their progress. If someone is slipping and sliding in the mud, lend a hand. If she has rocks in her path that keep tripping her up, help her kick them out of the way. If she’s weary and the path seems long and arduous, sit down beside her and rest a moment.

Here’s another Covey phrase: Be a candle, not a critic; be a light, not a judge. Sure am glad I have lots of candles and lights in my life. I can do without the judges and critics. Can’t you?

Finding Balance

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Mary and Martha verses in Luke. Although there are only two of them, they’re fraught with meaning. Exactly what is the better part that Christ chastens Martha about? Okay, I know what He meant, but I don’t know how to always find the balance I need. And how does one make time for it when there are people to feed, clothes to wash, floors to sweep, and provisions to buy? I have my quiet “soul time” early in the morning, but what about other times when the Martha traits creep in?

This weekend provides an excellent case in point…or two or three of them! My husband and I bought a duplex in Myrtle Beach so that we’d have a place to retreat to when the world got “too much with us.” And we also wanted a place for family and friends to gather and have lots of fun and fellowship. Labor day weekend was to be the celebratory weekend, and my daughters, son-in-law, and four grandchildren all gathered for our first holiday together there. We had dinner guests on both Saturday and Sunday evenings, with Sunday’s repast being the family feast. My brother Mike and his family joined us for Beaufort Stew, and it was fabulous to be sitting around the table basking in each other’s company.

So anyway, pretty much all weekend I was busy, busy, busy running errands, doing laundry, cooking, and so forth. Sunday rolled around, and we all went to church together. That’s a given unless someone is sick or seriously wounded. However, Elizabeth and I left after Sacrament to make a run to Wal-Mart for some final Beaufort Stew ingredients. We didn’t feel good about it, but nevertheless, we did it. Yes, we entered a place of business and bought something on the Sabbath.

Later that afternoon while everyone else was chillin’, Elizabeth was working on lesson plans, and I was working in the kitchen, doing things in preparation for the evening’s events. My little granddaughter Brooke walked into the room and announced to us that it wasn’t right to shop on Sunday and that we were supposed to keep the Sabbath holy. Knowing that she didn’t understand the ox in the ditch principle, I let it pass.

It reminded me of days of yesteryear when my former mother-in-law would leave church early to complete dinner preparations for a houseful of hungry people. Sometimes someone might “tsk tsk” her behavior, and even then as a young person without much depth, I could well understand that if she hadn’t left early, there’d be no food. Which was the greater sin? Leaving early to do a good deed or passing judgment on someone who was doing far more good than many who stayed for all three services? I might add that on most occasions, she would also prepare an extra plate of delicious food for a shut-in widow who lived close by.

Is there a way to be Mary and Martha too? If we are too much Mary-like, who will buy groceries, prepare the food, set the table, polish the silverware, sweep the floor, and change the linens? If we are too Martha-like, then we can lose our spirituality and risk becoming materialistic, worldly, and maybe even short tempered and impatient. In the account in Luke, she appears frustrated and angry.

I’m just saying it’s hard to find the balance. I’m also saying we need to cut others some slack when they’re doing the best they can.

For Connie

My friend Connie said that if I wrote one more Esther post, she’d comment on it. I’m hoping she was serious because someone needs to comment on this blog!

Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.

From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."

Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.

Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.

Mary and Martha

I love it when my house is clean and orderly. When the beds are made, the furniture is dusted, and the dust bunnies have been vacuumed, a certain sense of “okayness” dwells within…within me and within my home. Add the fragrant scent of vanilla or cinnamon, and I feel inclined to relax, ponder, meditate, read, and in general, just de-stress. Add the aroma of some scrumptious goodies wafting from the kitchen, and it’s almost like heaven around here On the other hand, if there is clutter and confusion, then that’s how my mind and spirit feel: cluttered and confused. I feel restless, ill-at-ease, and jumpy. Unable to concentrate or find that inner stillness, I find myself jumping up to straighten, putter, and organize. I have a lot of Martha in me.

At the same time, I manage to find time each day to dip into the scriptures or some other spiritual readings. This morning I read an uplifting article in the Ensign about visiting teaching that gave me pause for thought. Throughout the day, I send up a few of what my friend Carol calls “sparrow prayers” in addition to the morning, evening, and mealtime prayers. I do my best to count my blessings, think charitable thoughts towards even the most trying of people (hard one), and demonstrate kindness and fairness. Do I fall short? As another friend, Shirley, would say, “You betcha.” Still, I try. I have some Mary in me too.

When I think of those two verses in Luke in which Christ is gently chastising Martha for being so busily involved in domestic activities and reminding her of the “better part,” I like to think that He’s reminding women everywhere of their priorities. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience, and He wants us to keep that in mind and to always seek to follow Him. At the same time, we live in the world, and that requires a certain amount of meal preparation, organization, and cleanliness.

I guess the key is in finding balance. Sometimes I’ve found that the very acts involved in “homecaring” can be soulful activities. As I’m putting my house in order, my mind and heart become calmer, more at peace.