Solomon's Women

I have tremendous respect for the women in the Bible. The more I read and ponder, the more I can see them in me. They weren’t perfect, and neither am I. Just like the women of today, Rachel, Esther, and Hannah all had their challenges and trials, and all showed great faith in the choices they made and the lives they led.


This post, however, isn’t about one of the major players. It’s about “nobodies,” the 1,000 women who were King Solomon’s wives or concubines. As I go about my daily life, I often stop and think about how much freedom I have…how much “everything” I have.

• I can pretty much come and go whenever I want to. Could these women leave the palace grounds, or were their lives restricted to the royal residence?

• I have my own home that I can decorate any way that I choose, even if it means having canary yellow walls and cobalt blue leather furniture. Did these women even have their own rooms?

• I have three wonderful children and six grandchildren. Did these women have children? Were they allowed to raise them, or was it sort of a communal project?

• When the wives and concubines became older, were they “dismissed” and never summoned into the king’s presence? Did Solomon provide a pension of sorts for his older wives?

• I have a career that continues to bring a lot of satisfaction, fulfillment, and even fun into my life. Although teaching gets stressful and taxing at times, the positives far outnumber the negatives. What did these 1,000 women do all day every day??? Could they even read?

I’m thankful that I was born in America, the best nation on Earth, during the latter part of the 19th century after so many courageous women had paved the way for me to have an easier, more fulfilling life. Had I been born even 100 years earlier, I think I might have stomped around angry and frustrated and powerless. Had I been one of Solomon’s chosen women, I think I would have shriveled up and died.

A Little Maid

I’m not good with children. Really, I’m not. I can love them and play with them and read to them, but teaching them is another story. That’s why I was a bit hesitant to substitute for one of the Primary teachers last Sunday. However, after reminding myself of the wonderful leaders and teachers who taught my three children when they were young, I agree to do it. After all, what kind of world would this be if no one volunteered to give time, energy, and guidance to the generations of the future?

That said, I’m sure glad that I said yes. Not only did I gain some insights into a fairly well-known Bible story, but I also got better acquainted with a wonderful group of children from ages 10-12. The story came from the II Kings, Chapter 5, and although I had a couple of activities and relevant stories to augment the lesson, I didn’t really need them because the children were so engaged…and engaging.

In brief, the story was about a great military leader, Namaan, who despite his victories and prestige, had a serious problem: leprosy. His wife had a “little maid” who had been captured by one of Namaan’s companies and brought back to Syria. One day she mentioned to Namaan’s wife that it would be so good if only he could meet Elisha, “the prophet in Samaria” because she was confident that Elisha could cure the leprosy. The wife apparently trusted this young maid because before you knew it, Namaan was asking the king to let him go to see Elisha. The king readily agreed, telling Namaan to go and sending him off with a letter to the king of Israel.

Elisha’s instructions to Namaan were simple, so simple in fact that Namaan was “wroth,” especially since they were delivered by a messenger and not Elisha himself. His servants prevailed upon him to do as Elisha told him to do, however, and after dipping himself in the Jordan River seven times, his leprosy was gone. He was clean, cured of the dreaded disease. Grateful, Namaan attempted to reward Elisha, but the latter refused any compensation, instead telling Namaan to “go in peace.” Gehazi, Elisha’s servant was not so scrupulous, but that’s a story for another day.

While most people probably read this story and think of Elisha and Namaan as being the prinicipal players, I keep thinking of the little maid. Not only was this young person (the children and I speculated about her age but never reached a consensus) kind enough to speak up to her mistress and tell her about Namaan, but she did so despite being captured and brought to his residence from Israel. I don’t know enough about her or about the history of the era to know whether this was “standard operating procedure,” but I do know that she was young and living away from her people. Still, she spoke up about the prophet of God, thereby saving a man’s life.

The lesson manual asked these questions that I’d never considered before Sunday: What does this tell us about this faithful Israelite girl? How can our faith help others? The children had plenty to say about the little maid and gave several examples of how they could say and do lots of different things to point people in the direction of God and His servants. What particularly touched me was how they realized that they, like the Israelite girl, could influence their parents, siblings, and maybe even teachers and other adults.

What about you? If a child can influence others by her actions (or his) what can we do?

Lisa and Others

I’m a lucky gal to have so many wonderful friends who encourage, uplift, and inspire me. Most of them enlighten and teach me something every time I see them. And then some are quite entertaining and fun to be with. While they’re all different, they all have something in common: they’re good people trying hard to lead the best kind of life they can. We all slip and fall from time to time, and we all have our little weaknesses and soft spots, but when we fall, we get up, brush ourselves off, and get going. About those soft spots, well, we try not to let them get the better of us.

This post could be written about one of my friends, but tonight I have Lisa, one of my sisters-in-law, on my mind. It’s probably because I recently spent some time with her in Beaufort, NC where six of us had the opportunity to go on a sailing excursion. Becky, another sister-in-law was there too. Lisa, however, is the one who planned the trip and paid for the expedition itself. Sweet, huh? She’s like that. She wanted to do something special to celebrate my brother Mike’s 60th birthday, so the weekend was her brainchild. She even picked up the tab for dinner at the Front Street Restaurant that evening. That's her in the center of the picture above.

Here’s something I wrote about her five or six years ago that describes her to a tee.
“How fortunate we are to have Lisa in our family. My brother Mike’s wife,  Lisa, has always been stalwart and persevering in teaching Christian principles by both word and deed. Her spirit is sweet, and all within her sphere can sense her serene nature. Not only does Lisa work as a nurse at a large hospital, but she also performs all of the tasks involved in the so-called “second shift” described by sociologists. She plans and prepares healthy meals, decorates their home with taste and style, cleans and tidies their surroundings, shops wisely for bargains, takes care of everyone’s laundry, and rarely becomes ruffled.

"A good mother, Lisa has raised two responsible, mannerly sons who know of the presence of God in their lives and seek his guidance regularly. She and my brother have Sarah Beth, a young teenager who daily enters a war zone as she goes to high school, the mall, or social activities. Armed with years of her parents’ teachings and continuing immersion in church activities, she is helped in battling the adversary. My brother is blessed to have such a wife, someone who lovingly performs the duties of the virtuous woman spoken of in Proverbs.”

Proverbs 19:14
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children ariseu p, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

Following Brooke

I doubt if anyone who attended Fast and Testimony Meeting in our ward Sunday came away unmoved. If so, I have to think that he or she has a cold, cold heart or serious struggles with “the adversary.” One of the things I love so much about these meetings is that I get to learn what’s in the hearts of others…how they really feel about life, their families, and of course the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some people express gratitude, and others share struggles and concerns.

Time prohibits a full account of all of the testimonies I heard, so I’ll just share a couple that are on my mind today. Let’s start with yours truly. I had actually forgotten that it was F & T Sunday until I arrived, and as soon as I was reminded of it, I thought something like, “Oh great. I love to hear what my fellow church members have to say.” Almost instantly, I recalled something I’d read in one of Henry B. Eyring’s books about listening to others, something about how God will speak to you when and if you earnestly listen to the words of others when they are speaking about Him and/or spiritual matters. It occurred to me that it’s not fair to always be on the listening side and that I needed to share my testimony with my ward family.

Anxiety kept me in my seat for about two minutes until I remembered my sweet little granddaughter Brooke. Though only 5, she often bravely walks up on the stand and tells the congregation how much she loves Jesus…and her family. What a great role model! I shared several thoughts with the congregation Sunday, but the primary one was that regardless of what kind of suffering, pain, loss, heartache, disappointment, or despair, there is only one source of solace. I don’t know the reason for so much pain and evil in the world; I only know that without some sort of faith in a Supreme Being, you’re in for a much rougher road.

*Kitty talked about the power of prayer and how she’d felt its power so many times in her life.
*Mari, a lovely young woman, began her testimony in a way that reflected my feelings to a tee. She said she had felt compelled to come to the front, and yet when she got there and saw all of the people staring at her, she thought something like, “Am I really up here? How did I get here????” Anyway, one of the many things she said that found me nodding in agreement is she knew every person there was anxious for her success and happiness, and that although she didn’t know everyone, she knew that every single person would stand behind her…and would help her if necessary. She’s right, you know. I’ve felt that unity many times.
*Then there was Willette whose words made me chuckle a little. She shared that when her son was on his mission, she and her husband Larry vowed to bring as much harmony and peace into their lives as possible. They decided to begin singing a Primary song, I’m Trying to be Like Jesus, every time either of them raised their voice, began gossiping, acting uncharitable, etc. She said she bet they sang that hymn a million times!
*Izzy spoke of her love for the gospel and her deep gratefulness of how it had come into her life.
*Joann told of some of her challenges in life and of how thoughts of Joseph Smith and his unflinching courage had often strengthened her. She shared a specific example of how painful a “tar and feather” incident had been, especially when his wife Emma unavoidably removed pieces of his flesh when peeling off the tar.

We closed the last meeting, Relief Society, with Love One Another, and I left the building buoyed up by the music, words, hugs, smiles, talks, lessons, and prayers of the morning. It’s only Tuesday, and I’ve been annoyed and irritated plenty of times since then. But you know what? I think of Willette and Larry singing and find myself humming the tune to their song.

Freedom to Choose

I feel okay about the lesson I taught in Relief Society earlier today. No, wait, let me rephrase that. I think the lesson that the sisters and I taught in Relief Society went well today. In our ward, we “never walk alone,” so to speak. Anyone who’s ever taught in Camden knows that she can count on relevant participation from the class. Whether it’s sharing a story, reading a scripture, adding insight, or answering a question, we help each other.

Today the lesson was entitled “Freedom to Choose,” and before I’d gone too far into the lesson, Anita mentioned that while we’re free to choose our behavior, we’re not free to choose the consequence. So true! Hoping that someone would say that, I had actually put a stick in my bag as a visual aid. I held up the stick and said, “You can’t pick up one end of a stick without picking up the other.” You can’t choose a course of action without also picking up a consequence.

Naturally, we want the consequences to be good ones. We want to feel peace, joy, happiness, discernment, and the presence of the Holy Ghost as our companion. How can we do this? It’s simple. We need to learn and obey the commandments. From the lesson manual, God’s “commandments direct us away from danger and towards eternal life. We will gain exaltation, progress eternally, and enjoy perfect happiness.” Is there anyone out there who doesn’t want that??? I think it was Brigham Young who so aptly said, “If you want to enjoy the favor of our Heavenly Father, do His will.”

And how do you know His will? You search, ponder, and pray. You read scriptures, listen to uplifting talks, read inspirational literature, contemplate what you’ve read, and pray. Pray for guidance, for help with your family, for answers to questions, for clarity of thought, and for anything else you need. There’s nothing too small (or too large) to take to God in prayer.

Sometimes people get exasperated and impatient when they don’t immediately receive positive consequences for their choices. They don’t realize that there’s most often a space between the action and the consequence. As President Ezra Taft Benson said, “One of the trials of life is that we do not usually receive immediately the full blessing for righteousness or the full cursing for wickedness. That it will come is certain, but ofttimes there is a waiting period that occurs, as was the case with Job and Joseph.”

This post could go on and on, but I need to wrap it up and go for a walk. In the meantime, thanks to Joann, Cookie, Willette, Anita, Vickie, Martha, Cookie, Joy, Brenda and Sue for your comments and to the rest of the class for their attentiveness. We’re all in this together, and it’s wonderful to be a part of a sisterhood that helps me make good choices.

Be Happy

What do we really know about Eve? She was formed of Adam’s rib, ate the forbidden fruit, and was the mother of Cain, Abel, Seth, and undoubtedly others. This month our book club discussed Mark Twain’s The Diary of Adam and Eve, and even though Twain’s account was amusing and speculative, it did give me a lot to think about. Thanks for choosing it, Kathy.

Since I often think of her as “Mother Eve,” I zeroed in on some quotes that demonstrate a kinship between us. One of them is, “At first I couldn’t make out what I as made for, but now I think it was to search out the secrets of this wonderful world and be happy and thank the Giver of it all of devising it.” That seems so appropriate for this time of year, and I’m going to follow my young friend Kristi’s example and come up with at least as many things I’m thankful for as there are days in the month. I think Eve would like that.

1. A warm, reliable car
2. A warm, cozy home
3. DH and his many contributions towards making our home a more beautiful place
4. John and Margie, my parents
5. Edward and Edna, my children’s grandparents
6. L.C. and Mary, maternal grandparents
7. Woodell and Beatrice, paternal grandparents
8. Cell phones
9. Carrie and her creativity
10. Rich and his devotion to his family
11. Elizabeth and her poise and grace
12. Paul and his conscientiousness
13. Amanda and her musical gifts
14. Spencer and his mission
15. Braden’s dimples
16. Brooke’s cloud of blond curls
17. Emma’s cuddly little body
18. DH’s children and grandchildren
19. The gospel of Jesus Christ
20. Friends
21. Laughter
22. My siblings and their spouses and families
23. Love, the most important force in the universe
24. Color
25. America and the opportunity to live here
26. All things Southern-yes, even grits
27. My mother’s cornbread recipe
28. The ability to read
29. Words, words, words
30. Memories…and the absolute marvel of the human brain to help us recall them.

Believe it or not, I had to take few things off of my list and combine others so that I could limit my entries to 30. What about you? What are some things that you could thank the Giver of all things for? I think Eve was right on target when, according to Twain, she said we were meant to be happy, and I feel that enumerating our bounteous blessings in this wonderful world will help us to experience more happy than sad moments.