When You Stand With Me

Last night's introduction/orientation to Celestial University was awesome. I realize that awesome is probably an overworked word these days, but honestly, it fits here. I'm sitting here this morning wondering what to major in and whether I should pursue the terminal degree or stop after the BA. I'm also remembering Sophia's beautiful and seemingly effortless yoga demonstration. Loved the fruit too...and the numerous conversations with the women there, some zany and some serious and some artsy. Rather than create something new about Relief Society this morning, I decided to go to Musings of a Missionary Mom and find a entry that I could copy and paste.

Before pasting the entry, I also want to mention the first couple of lines from a hymn we're learning in our stake: "I may be one, but one becomes two when you stand with me and I stand with you." When put with the melody, those words and the others in the song are absolutely soul stirring. While I think of all of the women in this worldwide organization when hearing this song, I also think of my precious daughters and daughter-in-law. The picture above is of Carrie and Amanda modeling their aprons at Christmas.

Okay, here goes: "I love Relief society. That's no secret to anyone who knows me, church member or not. The first time I attended was one Sunday morning three decades ago when the teacher was teaching a cultural Refinement lesson on Sri Lanka. "Huh? What is this?" I wondered. It seemed too good to be true...just like school but no tests. Plus, I loved the variety of women in the room, old and young, short and tall, rich and poor, single and married. We had one thing in common: we were all daughters of a Heavenly Father who loved us, and among our many roles in life were those to love, support, and encourage one another.

That was many years ago, and the curriculum has changed to more accurately reflect the church's growing and increasingly diverse membership. We don't have Cultural Refinement lessons anymore,and yet we always learn something useful, edifying, or inspirational in our meetings. The topics vary from stress management and keeping an orderly home to the necessity of prayer and the importance of scripture study. I've never come away without learning something that would improve the quality not only of my own life but those of my family, friends, and acquaintances.

As an example, in my develometnalal psychology classes, a frequently occuring topic is discipline. While it's helpful to know that assertive discipline is effective and that a parent should be consistent, fair, and immediate in administering consequences, the advice of Brigham Young that I picked up in a Sunday meething has proven most helpful to me: "Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; study their dispositons and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly, never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of yor passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you."'

For those of you who were in attendance last night, you might be interested in knowing that I've already begun working on the theology requirement for the degree. Still haven't decided on my major yet. Is there an academic advisor out there??

For Connie

My friend Connie said that if I wrote one more Esther post, she’d comment on it. I’m hoping she was serious because someone needs to comment on this blog!

Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.

From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."

Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.

Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.

Learning Wisdom

Seems that I’m always writing “on the fly.” Although I have tons of ideas, my time to blog is limited, thus leaving me with whatever I happen to be thinking of at the moment. Today I’m thinking that while the underlying purpose of this blog is to discuss women of the Bible and the contributions they made and the lessons we can learn from them, today I’m thinking of a different twist on this.

A couple of months or so ago, I participated in a Bible study that dealt with Esther, and I was amazed at the treasure trove of precious truths I took away from those few evenings. Now we’re studying the book of Proverbs in a study based on Beth Moore’s “Wising Up.” So far I’m enjoying it just as much as the Esther study. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I learned that a wise woman is a former fool, exercises patience, is not easily annoyed, makes amends, and knows that God’s way is life’s ultimate way. After watching the DVD, Amanda, the facilitator, led a discussion about just how important our words are. Very powerful, our words can heal, soothe, upset, anger, inspire, separate, motivate, or instruct.

Here’s an example that I shared, one that seems just as pertinent today as it did 15 or so years ago when the situation took place. My daughter Carrie was a teenager at the time, and she was as intent on having her way and her say as I was on having mine. Around and around we’d go with our “heated discussions,” and one she said something like, “Mama, I can never win an argument with you. You’re older and know more words, so why should I even try to talk to you about things?”

While some parents might think, “Aha, it’s about time you learned that valuable lesson, Young Lady,” that’s not how I perceived this. Instantly, I saw that my constant desire to be the PARENT in charge of her every move was not working. Nor was her wish to be a fancy free teenager coming and going as she pleased. Something had to give.

About that time I read a book by Marianne Williamson that pretty much nailed our situation. She said that whenever she found herself in a position in which she knew she could win an argument, debate, or conflict of any sort, she had begun to ask herself what was more important, victory or peace. Admittedly, winning is NICE. The problem is that the victorious feeling is short-lived, and meanwhile, you might have seriously damaged your relationship with the other person.

Is that what I wanted? To win? To let my daughter know once and for all who was boss? I wanted peace, peace for both of us…for the entire family. I’m not suggesting that parents remove all restrictions and let children do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. I’m saying to ask yourself if there’s a way to find peace without fighting all the time, a way to find peace without always “besting” the other person. Sometimes we might have a bigger vocabulary, more experience, a higher position, or the gift of being more articulate. Is it right to use those capabilities to win?

Truthfully,I’d like to win and to have peace too, but that isn’t always possible. I count the cost and then decide, and nine times out of ten, I go for peace. Hands down. It’s a better, more satisfying feeling. Again, I’m not saying to give away the proverbial farm; I’m just saying to count the cost and “wise up.”
Can you think of a situation when you wish you’d have been a bit wise with your words?