Amazing Grace

My sister went to a Bible study last week, and Hagar was the topic. You remember her, right? She was Sarah’s servant, the one Sarah “gave” to Abraham so that he/they could have a son. Once while Hagar was expecting and then later when the child was much older, Sarah told Abraham to get Hagar out of her sight. Was she jealous? Angry? I don’t know. I just know that twice the “bondswoman” was banished to the desert, and twice God called her by name and told her what to do.


To Sarah, she was a servant. Apparently (although I could be misinterpreting this), Abraham felt the same way. To God, however, she had a name and a destiny. He was very much aware of her dire circumstances when He spoke to her and told her what to do to save her own life and that of her child’s. Hagar listened.

“Don’t you get it?” my sister Ann asked. “God knew her by name, just like he knows all of us.”

I’ve been thinking of Hagar off and on all week and of how we all have names and missions. We’re not all aware of our gifts and opportunities, however. Maybe we have too much of a bondswoman’s mentality and don’t realize our divine worth. Or then maybe we just don’t listen when He speaks.

When I saw Oprah’s final show on Wednesday, I couldn’t help but think of how that lady has always listened to His voice. I wish I’d watched Oprah more often. Because of work and general “busyness," I never had the opportunity to sit and watch a single show all the way through until Wednesday. Sure, I’ve seen bits and pieces of Oprah over the years, and I’ve often pored over her magazine. And I loved her performance in The Color Purple. Her star quality shone through in Beloved too. My friend Jeanita and I even talked about going to Chicago and trying to get on her show. It never happened, and now it’s too late.

It’s not too late, however, to learn more about this remarkable woman and the gifts she has given to the world. I’m not just talking about cars and scholarships. I’m talking about wisdom, hope, and encouragement. As a friend of mine commented the other day, “Say what you will about Oprah. She’s done more than any human I’ve ever known to share love and largesse.” Martha’s right, of course. Oprah’s generosity of spirit and pocketbook are unparalleled.

As I watched her on stage Wednesday, beautiful and stylish in her pink dress and heels, I marveled at her strength, determination, and intellect. What is it that sets her apart from the rest of us? In addition to her phenomenal gifts, I think it’s also the hand of God AND her awareness of it. I loved it when she acknowledged His constant presence and guidance in her life. He’s there for all of us, even if we don’t know it...or if we know it but don’t give Him credit.

This morning I went online to read a little more about Oprah, and I saw a video clip of Stedman who surprised her at a gala the other night. He walked on stage and basically said, “It really does amaze me that I get to be around a woman who changes peoples' lives every day and who also takes her own lunch to work. I cannot, honey, believe that a colored girl from the backwoods of Mississippi has done all that you have done ... I love you for making a difference in my life."

Stedman then told her something that they both knew, that she’s done it all through God’s amazing grace. She might have some time in the desert, but Oprah, like Hagar, recognized and listened to God’s promptings. Don’t you think it would work for the rest of us? I’ll never be a star, but I know He knows my name.

Don't Look Back

Most mornings, I like to get up before dawn. That way, I can read and write to my heart’s content while the day is still fresh and uncluttered with the crazy busyness of life. Sometimes I’ll read a magazine or a novel that I’m working on for book club, but most of the time I’ll read something inspirational or informative…or both.


This morning I was leafing through a book entitled Gifts of the Spirit that I discovered at a local thrift boutique, The Red Door. By Philip Zaleski and Paul Kaufman, the book is subtitled Living the Wisdom of the Great Religious Traditions and has an overall theme of the importance of contemplation and stillness in daily life. Here’s one of my favorite sentences from the section I read this morning. “When you wake up tomorrow morning, let this be among your first thoughts: now is the time to begin….with the rest of my life before me, a path of unpredictable length and inconceivable wonder.”

Whether good, bad, or neutral, yesterday’s gone. While past events can continue to influence a person, she doesn’t have to remain trapped in the past with its demons. Nor will it do her any good to look longingly at a door that has closed. Now is the time to begin.

In Relief Society today, our teacher mentioned the story of Lot’s wife, and having heard and/or read about the misfortune that befell her when she looked back, I knew the moral of the story before Lisa told us: Don’t look back. Then one of the younger women gave me something to think about that I’d never considered before. She said she could be looking out of her kitchen window washing dishes and have a thought or memory about her past and some of the poor choices she had made and begin to feel anxious and unhappy. Don’t look back has a different but equally important meaning for her. She went on to say that she could choose to stay mired in guilt and shame or she could turn her thoughts to today. She always chooses the latter.

Is it a coincidence that I read the passage from Gifts of the Spirit just a few hours before again hearing of Lot’s wife decision? Maybe. What I most took from these two events is that no matter how many times you read a story, you can always come away with a fresh meaning, a heightened awareness of what was really going on. I’d always assumed that Lot’s wife was looking back with a bittersweet longing, and perhaps that was the case. The lesson is clear, however. Don’t look back.

Now is the time to begin the next chapter in your life, and you can’t do it if you’re a pillar of salt.

Roomful of Dorcases

I was a little anxious about teaching this morning. No matter how well prepared I am, I still always feel a bit jittery. By now, I should know better. After all, the people I have to present the various lessons to are ALWAYS receptive to what their teachers have to say. I think everyone feels that we’re all in this (whatever this might mean to you) and that we need to love and support one another. Being in a room with them feels like being surrounded with a group of  Dorcases.


The lesson was on charity, the pure love of Christ, and I had read the lesson itself, two magazine articles, and at least a dozen scriptures. I had even given assignments to eight class members, thus assuring that I’d have some participation. Seriously, even if I had done nothing but read the lesson and the accompanying scriptures, I think the lesson would have gone smoothly. Why? Because I’m fortunate to be part of a group of women who walk the charitable walk and who were willing to share their examples.

None of us are perfect. Some of the examples weren’t exemplary, and yet we learned from those too. For instance, someone shared a situation in which she saw someone who appeared to be in need, but in a hurry (maybe like the priest in the Good Samaritan story?), she drove on by. The next morning she read of a murder that had taken place at the location where she had spotted the person in need. At that moment, she vowed never to let an opportunity to show compassion pass.

She got her chance soon thereafter when she stopped to help someone in a motorized wheelchair. Assuming that he was “stuck” and needed her assistance, she was surprised when he told her that he was simply enjoying being outside listening to the sounds of life, including traffic and birds. Interestingly, the wheelchair-bound gentleman confided that this kind woman was the only person who had taken the time to stop and say hello. How hard it that??? Charity doesn’t have to involve big contributions, tasty casseroles, or hours in a homeless shelter. Taking the time to stop and say hello are charitable too.

There were several other wonderful examples of charity. However, the last one was the absolute best, and I think it demonstrates something we’re all guilty of. Valerie shared a recent scenario in which she and her husband and small child were shopping in Target. She saw a young couple with a baby, and she sensed that they were struggling with deciding what to buy with their limited funds. How could they make the proverbial dollar stretch? Compassionate and caring, Valerie sent up a silent prayer to her Heavenly Father asking that He help this young couple. She walked on by, and after a few seconds, her little girl asked, “Where’s Dad?” They turned around and spotted him. Wallet open, he was giving cash to the couple. A lump in her throat, Valerie thought of how she had prayed, but her husband had acted.

Haven’t we all done that? Haven’t we all asked God to bless the sick and the afflicted, the lame and the lonely? But have we done anything about these people in need? I feel fortunate to be a member of such an organization of “sisters” who love and support each other and anyone else they see in need. They, not I, taught the lesson this morning.

Living the Dream

I’ve often remarked that the combination of religion and psychology has saved my life on innumerable occasions. Okay, maybe they haven’t saved my life, but they’ve certainly made it more enjoyable and comprehensible. I’ve gained insight, latched on to hope, been courageous, and exercised faith because of something I’ve read in either the Scriptures or in some psychological publication. I’d go as far as to say that religion and psychology overlap in many instances, especially those that indicate how to live a better life.


Here’s an example. Remember the story of the ten virgins? Five of them dutifully filled their lamps with oil, and the other five did not. I don’t know whether they thought they’d do it later and were simply procrastinating or whether they didn’t really think the bridegroom was really coming that night. Or maybe they thought their "sisters" would share a little oil with them. The point is that they weren’t prepared. At one time in my life, I thought of how selfish the prepared five were, but then I realized that you can’t live on another person’s light, oil, hard word, education, or testimony. You have to fill your own lamp.

Lately, I’ve begun looking at this story in another way. God gave them and us certain talents and aptitudes, and I sincerely believe that He intends for us to develop and use them. Interestingly, discovering and developing gifts and propensities falls squarely in the camp of positive psychology, a field that emphasizes positive human values like personal growth, optimism, and well-being.

What is your passion? What activities do you enjoy doing? What skills would you improve on if only you had the time? What would you like to learn more about if time and money were not hindrances? What’s your dream job? Are you willing to do what it takes to make that dream a reality? Those are all questions within the positive psychology realm.

Could discovering potential and developing it to the max be akin to the five wise virgins? What about the other five who failed to fill their lamps with oil? Are they like the thousands and thousands of people who live lives of frustration and unfulfilled promise?

Lessons from Rebekah

Lately I’ve been pondering some of the stories about the women in the Bible. What were their personalities really like? What about their day-to-day lives and the decisions they made? The more I read, the more I wonder why some of them are even included. What are the lessons we’re supposed to learn from them?
Let’s take Rebekah, for instance. People name their daughters after her, and I’ve heard about the great love story between Isaac and her more times than I can recollect. Lately, however, I’ve been digging a little deeper, and I’m a little disturbed by some of my insights. I hope they’re amiss somehow and that maybe someone can shed a little more light on the subject.

On the plus side, Rebekah goes with Isaac’s servant to meet and marry a man she’s never met. Trusting God and His will for her life, she leaves her home in Nahor with a stranger and travels 500 miles to meet Isaac. That can’t have been much fun. Furthermore, she’s the mother of Jacob, the man who became the patriarch of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. But wait, isn’t she also the mother of Esau?

That brings me to the negative side. Not only did Rebekah connive with Jacob to take away Esau’s birthright, but in doing so, she also brought about a serious rift between brothers. Esau was so angry that he threatened to kill Jacob. In addition, in planning and executing this devious plan, Rebekah deceived her husband in a serious way. When Isaac discovered that he had inadvertently blessed Jacob instead of Esau, he was heartbroken; he couldn’t undo what had been done. Grieved at being deceived by his wife and younger son, he was also sorrowful that Esau wouldn’t receive what was rightfully his.

What are the lessons I’m supposed to learn from Rebekah? Is it okay to hoodwink your husband to get what you want for your beloved son? Speaking of sons, is it okay to play favorites? No, I don’t think so. At the same time, God told Rebekah that two nations were fighting within her womb and that the older would serve the younger. Perhaps she was remembering this promise when she planned the hoax. Perhaps she thought it was the best thing to do and that in carrying out her plan, she was simply doing her part to fulfill the prophecy.

So why is Rebekah so admired? Why are her virtues so extolled? Is it because she’s Isaac’s wife and matriarch of a dynasty? While it’s true that her story demonstrates the importance of a woman’s role in a family, there’s more to it than that. The decisions a woman makes can affect generations of her descendents.

Here’s what I think. I think Rebekah’s story remains in the Bible because, just like the rest of us, she was flawed. Families are complicated, and the relationships within them are dynamic and ever changing. Her love for Jacob and Isaac’s love for Esau could be demonstrated in homes all over the world. She and Jacob deliberately cooked up a sneaky scheme, and mothers everywhere are known to stretch the truth, withhold information, or champion the cause of one child or another. I’m not saying this is right; I’m saying it happens.

Eating the Fruit

I just discovered something interesting about Eve. You know how people are always saying that she tempted Adam into tasting the delicious fruit and that it’s all her fault that we’re in the shape we’re in? If she’d just done what God told her to do, then they might be still in the garden, and we might not even be here! That’s a story for another day, however. The tale I want to tell today has to do with just who told Eve about not partaking of the fruit from the tree of life. I’d always assumed it was God and that He gave these instructions to the first couple as they stood there together, listening and learning. Not so.


I recently discovered that God told Adam and Adam told Eve. It’s not that big of a deal, or is it? As people living at this time in the world’s history, we know a little more about Adam, and we perceive him as an honest person. However, Eve knew nothing about him other than that he was the only other person roaming through Eden who looked sort of like her. He wasn’t a pelican or fox or orangutan, but a human being. So how did she know she could trust him? And how did she know the serpent represented evil? Eve lacked the experience and knowledge that we now have.

Today we know right from wrong through reading the scriptures, from listening to spiritual leaders, and from hearing the whisperings of the still small voice. She might have had certain advantages that we don’t (she got to live in Eden for a while), but we have access to knowledge accumulated through centuries and from all nations. We can learn vicariously from the mistakes and foibles of others, but Eve had no one to observe other than Adam.

While living on Earth today has its complications and hardships, it also has some advantages. One of those advantages is having access to so much knowledge, information, and spiritual guidance. We don’t have to take our husband’s word for something…or our wife’s, mother’s, father’s, or teacher’s. We can go straight to the scriptures and then pray about our concerns and questions. We can receive personal revelation for ourselves.  I wonder if Eve even considered that.

I’m not making excuses for Mother Eve. I’m just saying that I was wrong about God actually telling her about the fruit and that today we have access to much more information than she did. Does that mean we make fewer mistakes? Does it mean that we stay away from temptation?

Vashti Said No

Today I saw a young man with his jeans so low that I caught more than a glimpse of his blue anded plaid boxer shorts. I wonder if this is a new trend, having your under garments coordinate with your outer ones. Seems like I read a couple of years ago that women’s bra straps should blend or at least complement tank top colors. Gee whiz. Why not just make sure the under garments stay underneath???

All these sights have reminded me of Queen Vashti in the book of Esther. Everyone applauds Esther (and rightly so) for her courage in going before King Ahasuerus, but rarely do people have much to say about Vashti, the lady who sat on the throne before Esther came on the scene. Vashti, like Esther, risked everything she had in her communication with the king, and she paid a big price for it.

In a nutshell, there had been much merrymaking in the land for quite a while, 100 and fourscore days. After this time, Ahasuerus held yet another weeklong feast, one for the men and one for the women. From what I can glean from the scriptures, there was drinking and revelry among the men. On the 7th day, the king sent for his queen, Vashti, so that she could “shew the people and the princes her beauty.” She refused, and the king was “very wroth.”

I wasn’t there, and my only information is from the scriptures themselves and from some commentaries that I’ve read. My understanding of the events, however, is that perhaps Ahasuerus intended for Vashti to parade around in front of the drunken crowd. Rather than expose herself to leering gawkers, she said no. It would have been easier for her to go along, to be a good sport, but Vashti was courageous enough to say no. She must have known that there would be a consequence, but it didn’t matter. The scriptures tell us that anger burned in Ahasuerus, and at the prompting of his advisors, he gave her “royal estate to another.”

It might be a stretch, but I can see the application of the principles of modesty and courage in the world today. Why do people, men and women alike, bare shoulders, breasts, and midriffs for any and everyone to view? Why do young men feel the need to have their undies showing? Is it because of the need to be fashionable and to fit in? Doesn’t it take more courage to cover up and say NO to the wearing of revealing apparel than to give in to the popular trends of today?

What price will you pay to keep your throne? Will you say no to immodesty and immorality even if it costs you your popularity? Or will you go along with the world’s “look” to be accepted and popular?

Is It True?

 A friend of mine and I were discussing the previous blog about Noah’s wife, and she expressed some doubt that such an occurrence (great flood) even took place.

“Do you really believe that happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“It’s really kind of farfetched. I mean, what kind of loving God would do that to all the people on the earth? And besides, they’ve never really found evidence of the ark around the mountains of Arafat.”

I told her that it didn’t matter to me whether scientists had found remnants of the ark or not. In fact, it doesn’t matter to me whether the whole story was a complete fabrication. What I do know is that it’s in the Bible and in the Quran and that we can learn some important lessons from it.

• Be obedient to the commandments of God. Treat people fairly and be a just and kindly person.

• If God tells you to do something, do it. This is true even if it seems preposterous and even if other people laugh at you. Don’t you just know that Noah’s neighbors and friends had many a guffaw at their weird neighbor who persisted in building an ark when there was no rain in sight?
• While you’re following His instructions, realize that there is plenty of preparation in planning for a rainy day. While we don’t anticipate another such divine deluge, I know that some rain will fall in everyone’s life, and we need to be prepared. Whether it’s job loss, hurricane, illness, fire, or injury, now is the day to get ready.

• Be grateful for the sunny days in your life, and even though there are storms and wind and rain, just know that they never last. Storms always pass; it’s nature’s way. When the floods recede, you might find yourself with a whole new set of circumstances, probably better ones.

• Whenever you start feeling sorry for yourself, think of how “uncomfortable” Noah’s wife must have been. I get cranky when the dishwasher needs unloading or I have to run to Wal-Mart for laundry detergent. She worked like crazy getting everything ready for the time aboard, taking care of animals, and tending to human needs like food preparation (at least I think she must have). And yet, we don’t even know her name.

So was there really a man named Noah who took his wife, sons, and their wives aboard an ark thousands of years ago? Did that same ark land on Mt. Arafat after months of floating on the rains that covered the earth? I don’t know. Neither do the scientists. Still, it’s a great story with many good lessons. Just wish Mrs. Noah had a name.

2000 Years and Cultures Apart

There have been times in my life when I wasn’t able to make it to church. It could have been a sick child that kept me at home, or perhaps I was ailing. Then too, there were Sundays when we were traveling, actually enroute to or from somewhere. I’d often feel a little twinge of guilt about missing church, and to assuage it, my mother would often say, “The church is not going to fall down if you miss one Sunday, Jaynie.” I knew that. What I also knew was that I’d fall down without church, not vice versa. Without the consistent drops of oil, I’d be lost. Plus, I know how easy it is to miss the second Sunday and then the third and fourth once you’ve missed one.


Recently I read a statement about the woman with the issue of blood who touched the hem of Christ’s garment. The author indicated that she didn’t come with the intention of merely looking at this man who could cause the lame to walk and the blind to see. She came to be healed, not to gawk and look. She had faith and KNEW her life would be changed. As I pondered that comment, I realized that she and I have something in common. Two thousand years and cultures apart, she and I both follow Him to be healed.

I go to church to learn and to be edified and uplifted by my fellow worshippers. I don’t go to gawk or look or show off…but to learn of Him. It happens every week. Guess I’d better get off the computer, pack the car, and head for home and church. I need some spiritual oil, and I know where to find it.

Lily-livered is the Merriam Webster word of the day. Don’t you just love it? It has so much more punch than that cowardly or weak. It’s right up there with spineless and gutless, and I can’t help but notice how those two adjectives, like lily-livered, are also related to the body. The reason the term impressed me so much is that lately I’ve been thinking more about all of the courageous women in the Bible…and all of the injunctions we’re given to be brave.

I have a busy day ahead of me so I’ll just mention two or three. Queen Esther heads my list, and anyone who’s read very much of this blog won’t be surprised by that. Risking her life, she went before the king to request a favor, and as a consequence she saved the Jewish people. Oh, and the bad guy got killed. Think what might have happened if she hadn’t squared her shoulders and said, “If I perish, I perish.”

Then there’s the woman in the New Testament who risked ridicule and censure as she made her way through the crowd to touch the hem of Christ’s robe. After suffering from an issue of blood for twelve years, she was willing to feel the fear and do it anyway. We usually think of faith as being her primary virtue, but I can see that it took courage to do this. And what did Christ do? He somehow felt her touch and turned to the crowd to ask who had touched the robe. She could have slunk off, but no, “she came trembling” (Luke 8:47) and fell down before Him. She was healed immediately and gently told to go in peace.

Although there are dozens of brave women in the scriptures, there’s just one more that I have time to mention this morning, a very young woman named Mary. The older I get, the more amazed I am at the courage, faith, and humility of the mother of Christ. In my wildest dreams, I can’t imagine being visited by an angel telling me that I’m going to be the mother of the Savior of mankind. Mary was a young teenager who never “known” a man. I don’t know what her parents had to say about the situation. I have a hard enough time imagining the conversation with Joseph.

We all feel fearful from time to time. Sometimes we need courage to speak up for ourselves, and sometimes we need to speak for those who have no voice (in a manner of speaking). Sometimes we need to ask for help, healing, or a hand, and at other times we just need to do what our Creator asks us to do. Don’t be lily-livered. Just do it!

Freedom to Choose

I feel okay about the lesson I taught in Relief Society earlier today. No, wait, let me rephrase that. I think the lesson that the sisters and I taught in Relief Society went well today. In our ward, we “never walk alone,” so to speak. Anyone who’s ever taught in Camden knows that she can count on relevant participation from the class. Whether it’s sharing a story, reading a scripture, adding insight, or answering a question, we help each other.

Today the lesson was entitled “Freedom to Choose,” and before I’d gone too far into the lesson, Anita mentioned that while we’re free to choose our behavior, we’re not free to choose the consequence. So true! Hoping that someone would say that, I had actually put a stick in my bag as a visual aid. I held up the stick and said, “You can’t pick up one end of a stick without picking up the other.” You can’t choose a course of action without also picking up a consequence.

Naturally, we want the consequences to be good ones. We want to feel peace, joy, happiness, discernment, and the presence of the Holy Ghost as our companion. How can we do this? It’s simple. We need to learn and obey the commandments. From the lesson manual, God’s “commandments direct us away from danger and towards eternal life. We will gain exaltation, progress eternally, and enjoy perfect happiness.” Is there anyone out there who doesn’t want that??? I think it was Brigham Young who so aptly said, “If you want to enjoy the favor of our Heavenly Father, do His will.”

And how do you know His will? You search, ponder, and pray. You read scriptures, listen to uplifting talks, read inspirational literature, contemplate what you’ve read, and pray. Pray for guidance, for help with your family, for answers to questions, for clarity of thought, and for anything else you need. There’s nothing too small (or too large) to take to God in prayer.

Sometimes people get exasperated and impatient when they don’t immediately receive positive consequences for their choices. They don’t realize that there’s most often a space between the action and the consequence. As President Ezra Taft Benson said, “One of the trials of life is that we do not usually receive immediately the full blessing for righteousness or the full cursing for wickedness. That it will come is certain, but ofttimes there is a waiting period that occurs, as was the case with Job and Joseph.”

This post could go on and on, but I need to wrap it up and go for a walk. In the meantime, thanks to Joann, Cookie, Willette, Anita, Vickie, Martha, Cookie, Joy, Brenda and Sue for your comments and to the rest of the class for their attentiveness. We’re all in this together, and it’s wonderful to be a part of a sisterhood that helps me make good choices.

Parental Law vs. God's Law

I visited church in Myrtle Beach this past Sunday, and after hearing two wonderful talks by youth speakers, I heard a thought provoking and inspiring one by one of the church leaders. His remarks centered around the importance of obeying the commandments IF we want to receive the associated blessings.

Greg spoke of some the similarities and differences between parental love and God’s love, and as I listened, I thought of how children will often wail, “That’s not fair!” when they perceive that they’re being treated unjustly or that a sibling is receiving a privilege that they aren’t. Too, sometimes they want things (privileges, treats, allowance) even if they don’t deserve them. Adults are often the same way. We want raises, promotions, special projects, compliments, and so forth, but often we aren’t willing to pay the price to get them.

Back to the children, sometimes parents give in and give them what they want. Sometimes they just want the children to be quiet and stop whining, and other times they “feel sorry” for the precious little angels. But is that really right? Brother Stalvey gave the example of how an adult child in a cohabitating relationship might complain that his parents don't treat him the same as their married children. They look at eternal laws and feel that what they want to do is more important. Greg wasn’t making any pronouncements about how parents should handle their children; he was, however, pretty adamant about consequences of disobedience to God’s laws.

We as adults can weep and wail and gnash our teeth, but we need to understand that God’s laws are fair, just, and contingent upon following the commandments. We cannot steal, kill, commit adultery, live in cohabitating relationships, or abuse our children and expect God to turn the other cheek. While He loves us just like we love our children, He practices a tough love. But wow, look at the stupendous blessings if we only do what He asks.

Brother Stalvey also mentioned the woman at the well story, one of my favorites. Christ spoke with her despite the fact that she was a woman, a Samaritan one at that. Her gender made no difference to Him. Unless I'm mistaken, she was the first person whom Christ actually informed of His true identify. At the same time, He also let her know that He knew her past (five husbands) and present (living with a man). What I read into this scenario is that even though He loved her, He wasn't going to just "let her off the hook."

It's the same for us. While God loves us unconditionally, it's understood that we can't have several partners (today's term of choice) and expect him not to know and to someday "call us on it." We can't expect "the law" to save us when we have ignored eternal commandments. It's all about choices and consequences. While we're free to choose the former, we're not free to choose the latter.

I surely don't mean for my posts to come across as preachy, pious pontifications (how's that for alliteration?). During Sunday's talk, I had one of those "aha" experiences, and this morning I'm merely trying to convey it to you.

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Don't Look Back!

Here it is Sunday again, and I’ve yet to blog about some thoughts I had about last week’s Relief Society. It was wonderful—informative, inspirational and well-delivered. Michelle began by asking us if we knew what the 2nd shortest verse in the Bible was, and no one did. Do you happen to know? Don’t feel too bad if you don’t because you have a lot of company. I learned from Michelle that it’s in Luke 27:32: “Remember Lot’s wife.” Interesting, huh?

The story is a familiar one. Before destroying Sodom completely, God gives Lot and his family the chance to escape the fire and brimstone and warns them not to look back. All seems well, but then Lot’s wife takes a backwards glance, and she’s forever turned into a block of salt.

I’ve thought about her off and on over the years and wondered exactly what meaning we’re supposed to take from her action and its consequence. Before going any further with this, I’m going to copy and paste something I’d written in Musings of a Missionary Mom about this situation.

“This story has always seemed crazy to me. Crazy and cruel. Crazy for her to look back after God had clearly told the family not to and cruel for God to actually turn her into a pillar of salt. But then again, Lot’s wife was human, a mere mortal just like the rest of us who don’t’ always do what God tells us to do. We try, but sometimes we slip and fall just like she did. Still, what she did seems like such a minor infraction. A backwards glance, and forever she’s a chunk of sodium.

"There’s got to be an explanation. Some scientists would have us believe that it never happened, and that in fact there are salt formations all over the area near the southern tip of the Dead Sea. Others with no plausible explanation might say that It’s a metaphorical story. Perhaps it is, and yet I prefer to believe the actual Biblical account and keep asking myself why God was so emphatic about not looking back and why he meted out such severe punishment. After all, the ramifications of that act affected her entire family. Lot had no wife; his daughters had no mother.

"I’m wondering if this story is oft-repeated not only as an indication of what God can and will do if we disobey him but also because looking back is unhealthy. How can one move forward if she’s forever looking longingly at yesterday? Some people live so much in the land of Yesterday that they can’t go forward. They become pickled like the pillars of salt somewhere between Sodom and Zoar.”

Here are some additional insights from Michelle’s lesson.
*Everyone in Sodom was evil. God who looks on the inner person knew perhaps that her heart was really in Sodom. Would Lot’s wife have tainted their new life?
*Michelle mentioned that we have a problem going forward. We want things to be the way they were ‘back when.” Things never are. Change is certain. We can realize that and look to our future and what’s in store for us or stay stuck, longing for days gone by.
*Someone brought up the fact that God turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt because she was disobedient. Michelle, an excellent teacher, reminded the class that we are all disobedient…and probably a lot more so than Lot’s wife. She simply turned and looked back. What are some ways that you have sinned? Do you even want to go there???

So tell me what you think about the meaning of this story. It’s a fascinating one that I feel must have significance, and I’m open to new ideas…or to a rehashing of the old ones.

Life Turns on a Dime

Life can turn on a dime, or at least that’s what I’m always spouting off to my children. But really, don’t you think there’s a lot of truth to that? Based on a seemingly little decision, a person’s whole life can change, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. What I’m thinking about this morning are three of King David’s wives: Michal, Abigail, and Bathsheba.

Caught between her father’s villainy and her husband’s safety, Michal chose in favor of the latter. Rather than turn David over to Saul who would surely have him killed, Michal helped him escape through a window into darkness and the relative safety of the night. As a consequence, her father was furious when he discovered the ruse, and if that wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t see her husband for years. When Michal and David met again, their circumstances were greatly changed, and for this morning, I’ll just note that she had slipped greatly in his affection.

Married to a brutish (my interpretation), Abigail made a decision that changed her life forever. While David and about 600 men were living in the wilderness of Paran, he sent ten men to Nabal, Abigail’s husband, to ask for food. He refused. When Abigail learned of this, she didn’t think twice about packing grain, bread, sheep, raisins, figs and sending them to the future king and his men. She followed behind and personally begged for forgiveness for Nabal’s foolishness. What a diplomat! Nabal died shortly thereafter, and it wasn’t long before David sent for Abigail who, again without hesitation, went to David and became his wife.

Bathing on a rooftop as was the custom at the time, Bathsheba was spied by David and summoned to his presence. While the other two above-mentioned women probably made more of a conscious choice, she undoubtedly went to King David because of the royal writ. Her husband was away at battle, and perhaps she imagined that the king had some information for her about Uriah. Once in David’s presence, we know what happened, and as a consequence, she became pregnant, her husband was sent to the front of the battle, and David married her. Their child died, but later she gave birth to Solomon.

My purpose wasn’t to give a Bible study lesson this morning…guess I got a little carried away. It’s just that it recently hit me that these women, just like us, made seemingly little decisions that affected the course of their lives. It makes me want to step back and think twice about my choices. What about you?

Absolute Last Esther Post

This is it about Esther, my absolute last post…for a while at least. There’s so much to ponder in this short book, so many lessons. Although there aren’t that many people in the book, each adds a little something. Without going into detail, here are a few of the topics I’ve come up with:

Faith and putting faith into action.
Fulfilling one’s destiny.
Dangers of pride (look at what happened to Haman).
Dressing for success. Remember how Esther appeared before the king in her royal robes?
Respect for those in charge.
Fasting and praying…and the strength that can come from others who are united in these actions.
The magnitude of what one brave, committed person can do.
Knowing that things can change overnight. You just never know when you lay your head on the pillow at night what might happen by morning. Maybe the king will have insomnia.
The importance of fighting for your people; this includes your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, and everyone else you'd consider "your people."
The necessity of having courage. Can you just picture Esther standing before the king, perhaps shaking in her royal shoes?
The scariness of having “friends” like Haman. Just how loyal were these fair weather friends?
The importance of straight talk and tough love. Remember how Mordecai sent word to Esther reminding her that if she didn’t act, help would come from some other place but that she would not be spared.
The importance of using what you’ve been given, whether it’s looks, leadership skills, cunning, or know-how.
The underlying sense that we are all Esthers in our own spheres and that we have been born for such as time as this.

Can you think of other themes or lessons?

Your Destiny

I’m pretty psyched up about the Bible study of Esther that I’ve been attending. For the past week, I’ve been thinking about how Esther’s decision to go before the king changed not only her destiny but the destiny of her people. In verses 11-16 of the 4th chapter, a major transition takes place in a woman's life that changes her life and those of others. Although she was afraid, Esther considered the words of Mordecai and realized that indeed perhaps she had “come to the kingdom for such a time as this.”

I like to picture Esther as she walks out of the women’s area into the king’s presence. At some point, she must have turned a corner and realized, perhaps trembling, that there was no turning back. She’s dressed in her royal robe, her queenly attire, and when Ahasuerus sees her standing in the court, he addresses her as Queen Esther. Queen Esther, not just plain old Esther. She’s put thought into her appearance, and her attention to detail does not go unnoticed by the king. He seems pleased to see her, extends his scepter, and asks for her request.

Esther faced the fear. Have you? Will you? Just think about it. You could very well be one brave decision away from the most important turn in your entire life path. Sometimes we have to square our shoulders, hold our heads high and march forward to see the king…or his equivalent.As the class was watching Beth Moore on DVD, I thought of my daughter Carrie and how courageous she has been at certain points in her life.

After graduating from college, she lived at home for only a short time and then moved to Georgetown BY HERSELF. She was teaching at an elementary school there, and while it made perfect sense to live in the town where she worked, it was hard for me to accept. Fear of what could happen to this young 23 year old stalked me day and night. I shuddered to think of her going home there alone after work. She didn’t even have any friends there at first, but as the weeks passed, she made friends and adjusted to her job.

After tasting independence for a season, Carrie decided it was time to find that special someone. What did she do? She moved farther away, this time to Charleston. With this move, she had a roommate, and that alleviated some of my anxiety. Still, it was a bigger area, more traffic, more crime…you get the picture. I was a nervous Nellie. I was the one who needed to take lessons from Esther, not Carrie.

I’m not sure of the timeline, but I think she’d been there less than two weeks when she met Rich, her future husband. Recently graduated from the University of Utah, he was now an officer in the Navy who had just reported to the Charleston Naval Base. They both found the Singles Ward in North Charleston and met at church. That was ten years ago. They’re now the busy parents of four active preschoolers, one a precious newborn, and it all happened because Carrie faced the fear and made one of the most important decisions in her life, one that will affect her and her progeny forever.

In the DVD portion of the Bible study, Beth Moore reminded us that no one in our lives is a greater deterrent to our destiny more than we are to ourselves. Like Esther and Carrie, you may be one important decision away from your destiny. It could be a life and death situation like Esther's, a relocation decision like Carrie's, or something as seemingly small as making a phone call, enrolling in a course, or starting a blog.

YOU are in charge of your destiny. What are some choices that you've already made that required courage? How did you do it? What were/are some of the ramifications of that decision?

Reclusive Esther

What’s so good about being a queen if you can’t even wear your crown? Put yourself in Esther's place. You can wear the crown but only in certain areas, areas that don’t count. Basically, you’re a recluse who doesn’t even get to see the king very regularly. He’s your husband, yes, but you can’t see him unless he decides that he wants to see you which evidently isn’t all that often. After all, he has plenty of other pretty ladies to keep him company and hasn’t sent for you in 30 days. And you can’t even say anything to him about his infidelities. It’s not as if you have any power, any voice. You’re so sheltered that you don’t even know there’s a plan to kill all of your people within the year.

Fast forward to 2009 in another country, a culture far different from ancient Persia...America. I’m trying to imagine First Lady Michelle Obama being kept apart from her husband, but I can't. People seem to be as interested in her as they are in him…and not just in her fashion choices but also in her ideas, philosophies, and plans. She has a voice and is recognized as an savvy, intelligent, articulate, beautiful woman. Just check out March's issue of Vogue if you don't believe me.

Can the two women be more different in their lifestyles and "queendoms?" Yet both of them were/are thrust into positions requiring decision making and courage. Michelle might fear making a misstep, saying the wrong thing at the wrong place to the wrong people, but I don't think she fears for her life. Esther feared for her own life and those of her people.

I'm going to put some more thought into Esther's very real and legitimate fears and how she was able to act despite them. I know there are more lessons in her courageous behavior than I've mentioned. For starters, have you ever decided something that changed the course of your entire life and perhaps that of your family's?