A few months ago I was so impressed with Esther and her courage that I wrote several posts about her. I saw her as a valiant woman who was so brave that she risked her life in the fight to save her people. I’m still impressed with her, but the more I read and ponder the women of the bible, the more I realize that she wasn’t the only courageous one. Tonight I’m thinking about Tamar, Judah’s daughter-in-law, the one he conveniently forgot about and sent back to her father’s house. It was sort of a “don’t call me, I’ll call you” arrangement.
But first a little background.Her first husband, Judah’s son Er, was dead. After Er died, Judah instructed his second son, Onan, to sleep with Tamar in order to provide her with a male offspring. It seems weird to us in this day and time, but it was part of the levirate marriage agreement, sort of a security net for young widows. A child would provide Tamar with someone who would take care of her in old age. Although Onan seemed to comply, he practiced coitus interruptus. After all, if Tamar had conceived, Onan’s share of the inheritance would be reduced.
With two sons dead, Judah has only one son left, and this is where the plot thickens. He promises Tamar that when young Shelah matures, he will send for her so that Shelah can perform his brotherly duty. Time passes, and when Judah reneges on his promise, Tamar realizes that she has to do something. If not, her fate as a powerless, penniless widow seems certain.
What does she do? She takes off her widow’s weeds and goes to Timnah, a town where Judah is heading to shear sheep. Tamar disguises herself as a harlot and sits waiting for him to arrive, hoping to entice him to engage her services. Now a widower, Judah notices Tamar, and they are intimate with each other. To make this story seem even more bizarre (to me anyway), he doesn’t even recognize his daughter-in-law. While it’s true that Judah probably never saw her face, you’d think that perhaps he’d have recognized her voice when she spoke to him of the signet, bracelets, and staff that he was to leave with her.
You know how this story ends. Tamar conceives, and when Judah hears that Tamar is pregnant from playing the harlot, he sentences her to death without even seeing her. When he learns that he’s the father of her unborn children (actually two of them), he states that she is more righteous than he. Judah knows that not only has he not lived up to his end of the bargain but also that he was as guilty as Tamar when it comes to “whoredoms.”
Whether the story has a happy ending is a matter of perspective. There was no happy-ever-after marriage, and yet Judah “steps up to the plate,” and Tamar secures her rightful place in the family. She gives birth to twins, one of whom (Pharez) is an ancestor of Boaz. Tamar is in the genealogy of Christ.
To me, that’s a remarkable story, even more so when I ponder Tamar’s courage. Her choices were to stay forever in her father’s house, not free to remarry, or to take matters into her own hands. Still, it was risky. What if Judah had recognized her and punished her on the spot? What if she hadn’t conceived? What if Judah said the bracelets, signet, and staff weren’t his? Not to mention the fact that she had to be intimate with her father-in-law!
How courageous are you? How far would you go to secure your future? Would you risk everything?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fact or Interpretation?
Here’s the quote of the day that popped up on the computer this morning, one that perfectly sums up some thoughts I had earlier in the day: “There are no facts, only interpretations.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I’ve been reading a book about flawed families in the Bible, and after reading a chapter about Dinah’s “rape” this morning, I started thinking, “Who really knows what happened?” Really, who does? Who knows whether Jacob and Leah’s daughter was raped or whether she willingly submitted to Shechem? Who knows whether she should have stayed home instead of going into the city? Who knows whether she was dressed in a provocative manner, or whether Shechem, accustomed to having his way as a princely sort of guy, just liked what he saw and “took” her?
The book I read this morning made it seem that while Dinah probably deserves our compassion, she should have stayed in the family compound where it was safe. Plus, the author makes Jacob appear uncaring, conniving, and self-centered. Perhaps he was all of those things. I don’t know. When I read The Red Tent a few years ago, I was convinced that Dinah and Shechem were madly in love with each other. Some well-meaning friends and fellow bloggers might direct me to the source: the Bible. Yet, how many times has that sacred text been interpreted and re-interpreted? How many things have been left out? How likely is it that words in good old English mean the same as those in Hebrew?
I have no answers, only questions…and a basic curiosity. I’m inclined to agree with Nietzsche that there are more interpretations than there are facts. What about you?
I’ve been reading a book about flawed families in the Bible, and after reading a chapter about Dinah’s “rape” this morning, I started thinking, “Who really knows what happened?” Really, who does? Who knows whether Jacob and Leah’s daughter was raped or whether she willingly submitted to Shechem? Who knows whether she should have stayed home instead of going into the city? Who knows whether she was dressed in a provocative manner, or whether Shechem, accustomed to having his way as a princely sort of guy, just liked what he saw and “took” her?
The book I read this morning made it seem that while Dinah probably deserves our compassion, she should have stayed in the family compound where it was safe. Plus, the author makes Jacob appear uncaring, conniving, and self-centered. Perhaps he was all of those things. I don’t know. When I read The Red Tent a few years ago, I was convinced that Dinah and Shechem were madly in love with each other. Some well-meaning friends and fellow bloggers might direct me to the source: the Bible. Yet, how many times has that sacred text been interpreted and re-interpreted? How many things have been left out? How likely is it that words in good old English mean the same as those in Hebrew?
I have no answers, only questions…and a basic curiosity. I’m inclined to agree with Nietzsche that there are more interpretations than there are facts. What about you?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Eve, Rachel, or Sarah???
This is going to be a short one. Really, it is. I'm not sharp enough to go on and on with a lengthy post tonight. I simply want to say that as much as I admire the women of the Bible, I KNOW that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when He sent me to live in this particular dispensation of time on the American continent. I like air conditioning, cars, iced lemonade, computers, and microwaves. And even though I'm not a classic feminist, I do like knowing that I don't have to go and do whatever my man tells me to do. I wouldn't have made a very good Sarah (a.k.a. Sarai) who followed Abraham all over creation and even lived in a couple of harems because her husband told her to. I wouldn't have made a very good Hagar either. I want to be #1 Wife, not a surrogate mother banished from the household. And Eve...even now people berate her for her "foolish" choice. Personally speaking, I'm glad she ate of the tree of knowledge. Otherwise she and Adam might never have left Eden and started a family: our family. I was thinking of the beautiful Rachel earlier today. Although Jacob loved her dearly, there was Leah always just ahead of her as first wife and mother of six sons. And speaking of childbearing, it's not easy in the best of situations, but in the desert without medication or official doctors...I can't even imagine it. Dont want to either.
As I think of the other women, at the moment I can't single out even one that I'd rather trade places with. How about you?
As I think of the other women, at the moment I can't single out even one that I'd rather trade places with. How about you?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Ruth's Loyalty
I succumbed to the gentle but persistent pressure of some of my work cronies and established a facebook account last night. I’m a little overwhelmed with the maintenance and management of it, but I’m sure that sooner or later I’ll figure it out. The potential for communicating and networking is phenomenal. I learned this morning that you can play chess, scrabble, and checkers with other like-minded folks. Plus, I discovered that you can take all sorts of tests that promise to reveal interesting things about yourself.
In fact, the purpose of this post is to reveal the outcome of a short test I took on facebook last night. A “friend” had a test on her site entitled something like, “Which Woman of the Bible Are You Most Like?” Feeling experimental, I took the test. I answered the few questions honestly, and it turns out that I’m the most like Ruth. While I like Ruth and have always admired her loyalty to Naomi and her willingness to work hard, I was frankly hoping to be like…guess who? Yes, Esther. I want to be brave and valiant and fight for my people and for “the right” regardless of the consequences. I want to say fearlessly, “If I perish, I perish,” and then go on and do what needs to be done. I want to have faith that things will work out just fine. I want to always remember that I’m just like Esther, a woman who’s fulfilling her destiny in her own little sphere at “such a time as this.”
That said, Ruth sure was a phenomenal woman too. I don’t think I’d have been gutsy enough to stay in a strange land after my husband died. And then to take my mother-in-law’s advice about Boaz? Hmmm. I’m not so sure about that. But Ruth did, and she’s worthy of great respect and imitation. After all, Ruth is in the genealogy of Christ.
The real purpose of this post is so that I could get one more post in about Esther (for Connie). Oh, and if anyone reading this is a facebook regular, please take the test and let me know which woman in the Bible you’re most like.
In fact, the purpose of this post is to reveal the outcome of a short test I took on facebook last night. A “friend” had a test on her site entitled something like, “Which Woman of the Bible Are You Most Like?” Feeling experimental, I took the test. I answered the few questions honestly, and it turns out that I’m the most like Ruth. While I like Ruth and have always admired her loyalty to Naomi and her willingness to work hard, I was frankly hoping to be like…guess who? Yes, Esther. I want to be brave and valiant and fight for my people and for “the right” regardless of the consequences. I want to say fearlessly, “If I perish, I perish,” and then go on and do what needs to be done. I want to have faith that things will work out just fine. I want to always remember that I’m just like Esther, a woman who’s fulfilling her destiny in her own little sphere at “such a time as this.”
That said, Ruth sure was a phenomenal woman too. I don’t think I’d have been gutsy enough to stay in a strange land after my husband died. And then to take my mother-in-law’s advice about Boaz? Hmmm. I’m not so sure about that. But Ruth did, and she’s worthy of great respect and imitation. After all, Ruth is in the genealogy of Christ.
The real purpose of this post is so that I could get one more post in about Esther (for Connie). Oh, and if anyone reading this is a facebook regular, please take the test and let me know which woman in the Bible you’re most like.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Modern Day Leah
My sister let me borrow an interesting book entitled Flawed Families of the Bible, and although I haven’t really gotten into it yet, I’m intrigued by some of the chapter titles. For instance, Chapter Two is entitled “Leah’s Story: When Your Spouse Loves Another and You Feel Unloved and Left Out.” Most people, at least the ones reading this blog, are probably familiar with the story. Jacob marries Leah first, and although she bears him six sons and at least one daughter, apparently Jacob always loves Rachel more. The jealousies and rivalries are something I’ll tackle another day.
It must have been a bummer for Leah to try so hard to impress Jacob. Baby after baby she bore, and yet Rachel who remained childless for years continued to be # 1 in Jacob’s heart. I’ve been married twice, and although we had/have issues, none of them had to do with another woman being first in my husbands’ lives. At least I don’t think so. Why would any woman settle for the second spot? I know there are many answers to that question, but again, today is not the day to pursue that enigma.
What hit me this morning as I skimmed the chapter titles is that although I’m not second in my husband’s affections concerning another woman, I often feel in the second position in many other areas. Case in point. We’ve been invited to a wedding this weekend that it’s important for me to attend, and we’ve known about it for weeks. Something has come up, however, that precludes DH from attending with me. His mother is having a reunion with her sisters and brother at her house, and she’s asked him to fry the fish for the event. He has two other brothers, but no one has apparently thought of that. Or then again, maybe they have. To “cut him some slack,” although we’ve known about the wedding for quite some time, we were both a little sketchy on the exact date and time.
Maybe I’m doing a little therapeutic bingeing, and I might regret it in a few hours, but it occurs to me that most of the time I’m behind Mother, Daddy, brothers, sister, children, grandchildren, sports, hunting, and television. Speaking of the latter, if American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, The Biggest Loser, or any golf match in the world is on, I can hang it up…so to speak. I know the preceding list should have more punctuation, but gee whiz, there are so many of them that it looked funny when I started inserting the apostrophes.
I’m not whining, just sharing a revelation. Truthfully, I’m a person who craves a certain amount of solitude to read, write, and ponder stuff. He might even feel neglected while I’m on the computer taking care of my online classes, blogging, or writing the next great American novel. We’re actually pretty well suited to each other because we understand the importance of space.
So what am I saying? Two things. People need to make the relationship with their spouses top priority. That’s what lasts (we hope), not “American Idol.” The other thing is that this works both ways. Here I am comparing myself to Leah who was never tops with Jacob, the older sister who always paled in comparison to Rachel. HOWEVER, this works both ways in that there are thousands of men out there who feel second on the totem pole. Their partners put them behind children, careers, houses, and so forth.
Anyway, my big revelation for this morning is that there are many ways to identify with Leah besides being second to another woman. I can’t wait to read the chapter in my sister's book and see what insights lie in store.
It must have been a bummer for Leah to try so hard to impress Jacob. Baby after baby she bore, and yet Rachel who remained childless for years continued to be # 1 in Jacob’s heart. I’ve been married twice, and although we had/have issues, none of them had to do with another woman being first in my husbands’ lives. At least I don’t think so. Why would any woman settle for the second spot? I know there are many answers to that question, but again, today is not the day to pursue that enigma.
What hit me this morning as I skimmed the chapter titles is that although I’m not second in my husband’s affections concerning another woman, I often feel in the second position in many other areas. Case in point. We’ve been invited to a wedding this weekend that it’s important for me to attend, and we’ve known about it for weeks. Something has come up, however, that precludes DH from attending with me. His mother is having a reunion with her sisters and brother at her house, and she’s asked him to fry the fish for the event. He has two other brothers, but no one has apparently thought of that. Or then again, maybe they have. To “cut him some slack,” although we’ve known about the wedding for quite some time, we were both a little sketchy on the exact date and time.
Maybe I’m doing a little therapeutic bingeing, and I might regret it in a few hours, but it occurs to me that most of the time I’m behind Mother, Daddy, brothers, sister, children, grandchildren, sports, hunting, and television. Speaking of the latter, if American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, The Biggest Loser, or any golf match in the world is on, I can hang it up…so to speak. I know the preceding list should have more punctuation, but gee whiz, there are so many of them that it looked funny when I started inserting the apostrophes.
I’m not whining, just sharing a revelation. Truthfully, I’m a person who craves a certain amount of solitude to read, write, and ponder stuff. He might even feel neglected while I’m on the computer taking care of my online classes, blogging, or writing the next great American novel. We’re actually pretty well suited to each other because we understand the importance of space.
So what am I saying? Two things. People need to make the relationship with their spouses top priority. That’s what lasts (we hope), not “American Idol.” The other thing is that this works both ways. Here I am comparing myself to Leah who was never tops with Jacob, the older sister who always paled in comparison to Rachel. HOWEVER, this works both ways in that there are thousands of men out there who feel second on the totem pole. Their partners put them behind children, careers, houses, and so forth.
Anyway, my big revelation for this morning is that there are many ways to identify with Leah besides being second to another woman. I can’t wait to read the chapter in my sister's book and see what insights lie in store.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
For Connie
My friend Connie said that if I wrote one more Esther post, she’d comment on it. I’m hoping she was serious because someone needs to comment on this blog!
Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.
From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."
Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.
Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.
Yesterday an acquaintance of mine came by the office for me to sign some papers, and during our meeting, we began talking about issues unrelated to the business at hand. Nothing personal…just stuff besides the boring but important things related to the difference between conservative and moderate investments.
From our conversation, I perceived that this man had a spiritual side unknown to me until this time. Sure, DH and I had had many conversations about how much we liked and trusted him, how he was such a “good guy.” Still, I was surprised and pleased at the turn in our conversation. One of the things Mike mentioned is that he had a friend who was soon to have some pretty serious surgery. Nervous and afraid, he told Mike that he dreaded the procedure and feared what the results might be. Mike’s response was to tell his friend something like this, “Buddy, the man upstairs is still in control. You and I can fret and bite our fingernails and lose sleep, but that’s not going to change anything. He’s in charge, and no matter what happens, He’ll be with you."
Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, another Esther post! During the Esther course, one night our presenter told us to think about the phrase, “If I perish, I perish” and to think of one of the worst, scariest things that might happen to us. When we got that image in mind, then we were to substitute Esther’s words with something like, “If __________________ , then God.” No matter what happens, He will be there. He didn’t say things would be easy or that we wouldn’t experience loss, fear, pain, heartache, or illness. He just said to trust in Him and that He’d be there.
Since this blog is about what lessons we can learn from women in the Bible, I thought Mike’s conversation with his friend fit perfectly here. Like Esther, if we perish, then we do. If the procedure reveals something scary, then we trust God…and pray.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Learning Wisdom
Seems that I’m always writing “on the fly.” Although I have tons of ideas, my time to blog is limited, thus leaving me with whatever I happen to be thinking of at the moment. Today I’m thinking that while the underlying purpose of this blog is to discuss women of the Bible and the contributions they made and the lessons we can learn from them, today I’m thinking of a different twist on this.
A couple of months or so ago, I participated in a Bible study that dealt with Esther, and I was amazed at the treasure trove of precious truths I took away from those few evenings. Now we’re studying the book of Proverbs in a study based on Beth Moore’s “Wising Up.” So far I’m enjoying it just as much as the Esther study. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I learned that a wise woman is a former fool, exercises patience, is not easily annoyed, makes amends, and knows that God’s way is life’s ultimate way. After watching the DVD, Amanda, the facilitator, led a discussion about just how important our words are. Very powerful, our words can heal, soothe, upset, anger, inspire, separate, motivate, or instruct.
Here’s an example that I shared, one that seems just as pertinent today as it did 15 or so years ago when the situation took place. My daughter Carrie was a teenager at the time, and she was as intent on having her way and her say as I was on having mine. Around and around we’d go with our “heated discussions,” and one she said something like, “Mama, I can never win an argument with you. You’re older and know more words, so why should I even try to talk to you about things?”
While some parents might think, “Aha, it’s about time you learned that valuable lesson, Young Lady,” that’s not how I perceived this. Instantly, I saw that my constant desire to be the PARENT in charge of her every move was not working. Nor was her wish to be a fancy free teenager coming and going as she pleased. Something had to give.
About that time I read a book by Marianne Williamson that pretty much nailed our situation. She said that whenever she found herself in a position in which she knew she could win an argument, debate, or conflict of any sort, she had begun to ask herself what was more important, victory or peace. Admittedly, winning is NICE. The problem is that the victorious feeling is short-lived, and meanwhile, you might have seriously damaged your relationship with the other person.
Is that what I wanted? To win? To let my daughter know once and for all who was boss? I wanted peace, peace for both of us…for the entire family. I’m not suggesting that parents remove all restrictions and let children do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. I’m saying to ask yourself if there’s a way to find peace without fighting all the time, a way to find peace without always “besting” the other person. Sometimes we might have a bigger vocabulary, more experience, a higher position, or the gift of being more articulate. Is it right to use those capabilities to win?
Truthfully,I’d like to win and to have peace too, but that isn’t always possible. I count the cost and then decide, and nine times out of ten, I go for peace. Hands down. It’s a better, more satisfying feeling. Again, I’m not saying to give away the proverbial farm; I’m just saying to count the cost and “wise up.”
Can you think of a situation when you wish you’d have been a bit wise with your words?
A couple of months or so ago, I participated in a Bible study that dealt with Esther, and I was amazed at the treasure trove of precious truths I took away from those few evenings. Now we’re studying the book of Proverbs in a study based on Beth Moore’s “Wising Up.” So far I’m enjoying it just as much as the Esther study. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I learned that a wise woman is a former fool, exercises patience, is not easily annoyed, makes amends, and knows that God’s way is life’s ultimate way. After watching the DVD, Amanda, the facilitator, led a discussion about just how important our words are. Very powerful, our words can heal, soothe, upset, anger, inspire, separate, motivate, or instruct.
Here’s an example that I shared, one that seems just as pertinent today as it did 15 or so years ago when the situation took place. My daughter Carrie was a teenager at the time, and she was as intent on having her way and her say as I was on having mine. Around and around we’d go with our “heated discussions,” and one she said something like, “Mama, I can never win an argument with you. You’re older and know more words, so why should I even try to talk to you about things?”
While some parents might think, “Aha, it’s about time you learned that valuable lesson, Young Lady,” that’s not how I perceived this. Instantly, I saw that my constant desire to be the PARENT in charge of her every move was not working. Nor was her wish to be a fancy free teenager coming and going as she pleased. Something had to give.
About that time I read a book by Marianne Williamson that pretty much nailed our situation. She said that whenever she found herself in a position in which she knew she could win an argument, debate, or conflict of any sort, she had begun to ask herself what was more important, victory or peace. Admittedly, winning is NICE. The problem is that the victorious feeling is short-lived, and meanwhile, you might have seriously damaged your relationship with the other person.
Is that what I wanted? To win? To let my daughter know once and for all who was boss? I wanted peace, peace for both of us…for the entire family. I’m not suggesting that parents remove all restrictions and let children do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. I’m saying to ask yourself if there’s a way to find peace without fighting all the time, a way to find peace without always “besting” the other person. Sometimes we might have a bigger vocabulary, more experience, a higher position, or the gift of being more articulate. Is it right to use those capabilities to win?
Truthfully,I’d like to win and to have peace too, but that isn’t always possible. I count the cost and then decide, and nine times out of ten, I go for peace. Hands down. It’s a better, more satisfying feeling. Again, I’m not saying to give away the proverbial farm; I’m just saying to count the cost and “wise up.”
Can you think of a situation when you wish you’d have been a bit wise with your words?
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